I am a villain if I apprehend But...

I am a villain if I apprehend

But such a thought; then to attempt the deed--

Slave, thou art damned without redemption.

I’ll drive away this passion with a song.

A song! Ha, ha! A song, as if, fond man,

Thy eyes could swim in laughter, when they soul

Lies drenched and drowned in red tears of blood.

I’ll pray, and see if God within my heart

Plant better thoughts. Why, prayers are meditations,

And when I meditate--Oh, God, forgive me--

It is on her divine perfections.

I will forget her; I will arm myself

Not to entertain a thought of love to her;

And when I come by chance into her presence,

I’ll hale these balls until my eyestrings crack

From being pulled and drawn to look that way.

Oh, God! Oh, God! With what a violence

I am hurried to my own destruction.

There goest thou the most perfectest man

That ever England bred a gentleman;

And shall I wrong his bed? Thou God of thunder,

Stay in Thy thoughts of vengeance and of wrath

Thy great almighty and all-judging hand

From speedy execution on a villain,

A villain and a traitor to his friend. [...]

He doth maintain me, he allow me largely Money to spend-- [...]

My gelding and my man. [...]

This kindness grows of no alliance ‘twixt us. [...]

I never bound him to me by desert,

Of a mere stranger, a poor gentleman,

A man by whom in no kind he could gain!

He hath placed me in the height of all hi thoughts,

Made me companion with the best and chiefest

In Yorkshire. He cannot eat without me,

Nor laugh without me. I am to his body

As necessary as digestion,

And equally do make him whole or sick.

And shall I wrong this man? Base man!

Ingrate!

Hast thou the power straight with thy gory hands

To rip thy image from his bleeding heart?

To scratch thy name from out the holy book

Of his remembrance, and to wound his name

That holds thy name so dear, or rend his heart

To whom they heart was joined and knit together?

And yet I must. Then Wendoll, be content;

Thus villains, when they would, cannot repent.

Thomas Heywood. “A Woman Killed With Kindness”. Renaissance Drama: An Anthology of Plays and Entertainments. Ed. Arthur F. Kinney. Oxford: Blackwell Publishing, 2005. pp.496-497.