Act One, Scene Six
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- Bert. V. Royal
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- Late Teen
Marcy and Tricia, two “mean girls” who secretly carry the ingredients to make White Russians out of
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Tricia: So he was all like, “Woh woh woh Woh woh woh. Woh woh woh wowoh woh.” He is such a dick! So, I’m like, “Excuse me, Mr. Von Pfefferkorn, but just because I can’t define metaphor doesn’t mean I don’t know what one is, you stupid buttwad!
Marcy: You called Mr. Von Pfefferkorn a buttwad?!
Tricia: No, of course not. I added that to the story for dramatic effect.
Marcy: Duh! I looked it up on the Internet. Every time we do get drunk at school, you pick up a spork and say, “The spork is such a great invention. I wonder where it came from.” So, I decided that I was going to be ready one day with the answer.
Tricia: How brilliant of you. I’m depressed.
Royal, Bert V. Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead. Dramatists Play Service, New York, NY. 2006. pp. 15-18.
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