I have secured the only newspaper in the...

I have secured the only newspaper in the village^ my character as an attorney-at-law depended on the monopoly of its information. - I took it up by chance when this para- graph met my astonished view: {Reads.) 'We understand that the contract of marriage so long in abeyance on account of the lady's minority, is about to be celebrated, at Oak Hall, Gloucestershire, the well-known and magnificent mansion of Maxmilian Harkaway, Esq., between Sir Harcourt Courtly, Baronet, of fashionable celebrity, and Miss Grace Harkaway, niece to the said Mr Harkaway. The preparations are proceeding on the good old English style.' Is it possible! I seldom swear, except in a witness box, but damme, had it been known in the village, my reputation would have been lost; my voice in the parlour of the Red Lion mute, and Jenks, a fellow who calls himself a lawyer, without more capability than a broomstick, and as much impudence as a young barrister, after getting a verdict, by mistake; why, he would actually have taken the Reverend Mr Spout by the button,^ which is now my sole privilege. Ah! here is Mrs Pert; [couldn't have hit upon a better person.] I'll cross- examine her - [Lady's maid to Miss Grace, confidential purloiner of second-hand silk - a nisi prius of her mistress - Ah! sits on the woolsack in the pantry, and dictates the laws of kitchen etiquette. -] Ah! Mrs Pert, good morning; permit me to say, - and my word as a legal character is not unduly considered - I venture to affirm, that you look a - quite like the - a -

London Assurance