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The Foreigner

Don't tell me you've never seen a knife.

Ellard Simms

The Foreigner

See more monologues from Larry Shue


Age Range
Late Teen, Young Adult
Time Period
Show Type

Monologue Text

Don't tell me you've never seen a knife. Knife. That's a knife. Use it to cut things. Cut things. (Mimes) Like - ham. If we had some ham. Or bacon, or sump'm. I can't believe you don't -. (Looks around for help. There is none.) Or butter. If we had some butter, you could use it to spread it on - . You don't really need it. No, you don't need it. (Demonstrating.) Put it down.

Bad Uh - . (Charlie now holds a spoon.) Yeah, now that's your spoon. Use that to put sugar in your coffee, if you had some sugar, here. And you had some coffee - shoot. I don't really know why we got all these things. But your fork - man, I wish somebody else'd help you with this, 'cause I don't know anything, but - I think that your fork - your fork'd be the main thing you'd use. 'Cause you got your eggs, and you got your grits. Y'see? Eat 'em with a fork, just like we been doin'. Can - you - say - 'fork'? 'Faw-werk'? 'Faw-werk.' Two parts. 'Faw-werk.' . . . Right. Put 'em together. 'Faw-werk' . . .Good! That was great!'