The Foreigner

Don't tell me you've never seen a knife....

Ellard Simms

The Foreigner

See more monologues from Larry Shue



Basics


Character
Gender
Male
Age Range
Late Teen, Young Adult
Style
Comedic
Length
Short
Time Period
Contemporary
Show Type
Play



Monologue Text

Don't tell me you've never seen a knife. Knife. That's a knife. Use it to cut things. Cut things. (Mimes) Like - ham. If we had some ham. Or bacon, or sump'm. I can't believe you don't -. (Looks around for help. There is none.) Or butter. If we had some butter, you could use it to spread it on - . You don't really need it. No, you don't need it. (Demonstrating.) Put it down.

Bad Uh - . (Charlie now holds a spoon.) Yeah, now that's your spoon. Use that to put sugar in your coffee, if you had some sugar, here. And you had some coffee - shoot. I don't really know why we got all these things. But your fork - man, I wish somebody else'd help you with this, 'cause I don't know anything, but - I think that your fork - your fork'd be the main thing you'd use. 'Cause you got your eggs, and you got your grits. Y'see? Eat 'em with a fork, just like we been doin'. Can - you - say - 'fork'? 'Faw-werk'? 'Faw-werk.' Two parts. 'Faw-werk.' . . . Right. Put 'em together. 'Faw-werk' . . .Good! That was great!'