Bang Bang You're Dead

Act One


Show Type
  • : 1
  • : 2
Age Ranges
  • Late Teen
  • Young Adult
  • Adult
Present day, home
Act One

Scene Context

After glorifying the status a gun grants a person, Josh asks his parents for a rifle so that he can

Scene Text

ACTOR 3 (AS JOSH'S MOM) Josh, there's no way we're buying you a rifle.

JOSH Mom, will you listen to me?

ACTOR 1 (AS JOSH'S DAD) First you had to have a p.c., then every video game ever made, then a laptop--

JOSH For school, dad.

ACTOR 3 (AS JOSH'S MOM) Then a cell phone, a beeper and the newest style Nikes every three months--

ACTOR 1 (AS JOSH'S DAD) You have to have every CD you hear on the radio.

ACTOR 3 (AS JOSH'S MOM) An expensive mountain bike you rode three times.

ACTOR 1 (AS JOSH'S DAD) A snowboard you never used. And now a rifle? Please.

JOSH Grandpa wants to take me hunting.

ACTOR 3 (AS JOSH'S MOM) I'm absolutely against it.

JOSH Grandpa hunts. Are you rejecting what your own father thinks?

ACTOR 1 (AS JOSH'S DAD) Of course not.

JOSH Then I should have the rifle, right?

ACTOR 3 (AS JOSH'S MOM) I wish you felt as passionate about your grades as you do about a rifle.

JOSH You're changing the subject.

ACTOR 1 (AS JOSH'S DAD) You've got a high I.Q. Your B's and C's could be all A's.

JOSH Will you get off my back about my I.Q.?

ACTOR 3 (AS JOSH'S MOM) We might feel differently if you were living up to your full potential.

JOSH Okay, you get me the rifle and I'll bring home all A's on my next report card. Deal?

ACTOR 3 (AS JOSH'S MOM) We'll talk about a rifle when we see all A's.

JOSH You don't even trust me.

ACTOR 3 (AS JOSH'S MOM) Josh, you know that's not true.

JOSH If you trust me, then get me the rifle now.

ACTOR 1 (AS JOSH'S DAD) When you get all A's, we'll discuss it.

JOSH Hunting season will be over before grades come out. Then I have to wait a whole year!

ACTOR 1 (AS JOSH'S DAD) You have to learn patience.

JOSH Hunting teaches patience. Grandpa said. But what's he know? He's only your father. All I want is to spend some time with grandpa and hear his stories about when he grew up. Learn some responsibility. Learn respect for firearms. How is all that bad?

ACTOR 1 (AS JOSH'S DAD) It's not bad, Josh. It's just that we're not comfortable with guns.

JOSH If I wanted to, I could get a gun in school for fifty bucks.


JOSH Easy. I know a kid who stole a gun from his father. But I wouldn't buy it because that would be wrong. Is this what I get for being honest?

ACTOR 3 (AS JOSH'S MOM) Maybe his honesty deserves the rifle for a reward.

ACTOR 1 (AS JOSH'S DAD) Maybe you shouldn't cave in every time Josh throws a tantrum.

ACTOR 3 (AS JOSH'S MOM) What about the electric guitar you got him when he threw himself on the floor?

ACTOR 1 (AS JOSH'S DAD) At least that showed an interest in music.

ACTOR 3 (AS JOSH'S MOM) Yeah, and now it's collecting dust in the closet. (Actors 1 and 3 walk off arguing.)

JOSH Divide and conquer. Works every time. So don't blame me. Blame my folks, okay? They didn't have to buy me a rifle.