Act One

At the Latter Day Saints (LDS) Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah, the bright, handsome, and popular young Elder Price is leading his colleagues (including the nerdy, insecure pathological liar Elder Cunningham in a practice run of their door-to-door conversion speech (“Hello”). Elder Price is enthusiastic about his two-year mission -- he has prayed very hard and is sure he’ll be assigned to his favorite place on earth: Orlando, Florida. Much to his dismay, however, Elder Price is assigned not only to a mission in Uganda, Africa, but is also partnered with Elder Cunningham, who finds it nearly impossible to stick to the approved script (“Two By Two”). The Elders say goodbye to their parents at the airport, and Elder Price, ever hopeful, tries to make the best of a bad situation. He is certain that God has a reason for sending him to Uganda, and he’ll “do something incredible to blow God’s freaking mind!” Elder Cunningham is happy to be on the sidelines, watching -- he knows that unlike the rest of his friends, Elder Price isn’t allowed to leave him because of the rules of mission partners (“You and Me (But Mostly Me)”).

Immediately upon arrival in Uganda, Elders Price and Cunningham are robbed at gunpoint by General Butt-Fucking-Naked and his men. They are then greeted by a friendly leader in the town, Mafala Hatimbi, who seems unsurprised by the violent introduction to his village. He urges the Elders to adopt the perspective the villagers have when bad things (like AIDS, famine, and despotic warlords) happen: “Hasa Diga Eebowai”. Elder Price and Cunningham join in the celebration, until they learn in horror that the phrase means “Fuck you, God” (“Hasa Diga Eebowai”). Dejected and exhausted, Elders Price and Cunningham are led to their mission headquarters by Mafala’s daughter, the beautiful Nabalungi. They are introduced to Elder McKinley and the other missionaries, who have failed to convert anyone in the town to Mormonism. Elder McKinley

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