Sister Mary Ignatius, a strict and zealous nun, has just learned that
There is the universe, created by God. Eve ate the apple, man got original sin. Jesus said to St. Peter, “I build my Church”, by which He meant that Peter was the first Pope and that he and the subsequent Popes would be infallible on matters of doctrine and morals. So your way is very clear; you have this infallible Church that tells you what is right and wrong, and you follow its teaching, and then you get to heaven.
Didn’t you all hear me say that? Did you all have wax in your ears? Did I speak in a foreign tongue? Or what? And you’ve all sinned against sex… (To Aloysius)…not you, you’re just depressed, you probably need vitamins…. (To all of them.) But the rest of you! Why this obsession with sex! The Church has been very clear setting up the guidelines for you. (To Diane and Philomena.) For you two girls, why can’t you marry one Catholic man and have as many babies as chance and the good Lord allows you to? Simple, easy-to-follow directions. (To Gary.) And for you, you can force yourself to marry and procreate with some nice Catholic girl-try it, it’s not so hard. Or you can be celibate for the rest of your life. Again, simple directions. (Suddenly in a fury :)
THOSE ARE YOUR OPTIONS!!! No others. They are your direct paths to heaven and salvation, to everlasting happiness. Why aren’t you following these paths? Are you insane???