A segment of a longer speech, this is the Pardoner’s introduction to
First here I show ye of a holy Jew's hip
A bone I pray you, take good keep
To my words and mark them well:
If any of your beasts' bellies do swell,
Dip this bone in the water that he doth take
his body, and the swelling shall slake;
And if any worm have your beasts stung,
Take of this water, and wash his tongue,
And it will be whole anon; and furthermore
Of pox and scabs, and every sore,
He shall be quite whole that drinketh of the well
That this bone is dipped in : it is truth that I tell.
And if any man, that any beast oweth,
Once in the week, ere that the cock croweth,
Fasting will drink of this well a draught,
As that holy Jew hath us taught,
His beasts and his stores shall multiply.
And, masters all, it helpeth well,
Though a man be foul in jealous rage,
Let a man with this water make his pottage,
And never more shall he his wife mistrist,
Though he in sooth the fault by her wist*,
Or had she been taken with friars two or three.
And another holy relic may ye see :
He that his hand will put in this mitten,
He shall have increase of his grain,
That he hath sown, be it wheat or oats,
So that he offer pence or else groats,
And another holy relic eke here see ye may:
The blessed arm of sweet Saint Sunday;
And whosoever is blessed with this right hand,
Cannot speed amiss by sea nor by land.
And if he offereth eke with good devotion.
He shall not fail to come to high promotion.
And another holy relic here may ye see:
great toe of the Holy Trinity;
And whosoever once doth it in his mouth take,
He shall never be diseased with the toothache;
Cancer nor pox shall there none breed:
This that I show ye is matter indeed.
John Heywood, The Pardoner and the Friar. https://archive.org/stream/dramaticwritings00heywuoft/dramaticwritings00heywuoft_djvu.txt
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