I was talking to Harper. Now, don’t get...

Farewell, Mr. Vita

Frank Derby

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I was talking to Harper. Now, don’t get your panties in a bunch, we were just talking. I know how you get but it was business as usual. They showed the concept of the T-11. It’s complete bullsh#t. I’ve been telling these little tech boffins that the T-1 was far more innovative then the bullsh#t they’re coming out with nowadays. And me and you put that thing together in a cement farm in Ohio with a soldering iron and a scalpel. The sh#t was rough but we had the idea down and that all that matters. They call it. F@#king kids have no idea. You should see the kid Susan hired the other day. The f@#ker is fresh out of MIT and looks like he never even shaved before. And I’m not judging how the way he looks but he’s a virgin with a face full of acne and doesn’t no sh#t about life. Back then the design was simple. We didn’t have to worry about ‘surgical smoke’ and the chemicals leaking into the tissue, all that sh#t came about when these nerds tried to make this more efficient and now all we got is a patent that we have to keep improving and improving. For what? So the world feels like sh#t is getting done? So we’re not getting complacent? That we’re always on the prowl for advancing medical technology? F@#k that. To make money, that’s all it is. F@#k saving the world. It took me two semesters at Dartmouth to get that sh#t through my f@#king head. But you were right. This IS the difference between our generation and theirs. It’s not about saving the world anymore. You should hear Rachel go on about that climate change bullsh#t. “It’s our fault”. If motherf@#kers really want to know why the Earth is getting f@#ked over its because people are innately selfish. You throw eight billion f@#kers with limited amount of resources to this degree and you’re going to have problems. It’s a quick easy fix. The idea of everyone getting their slice of the pie is the reason why sh#t is running thin now. Because back in the day, if you didn’t have it, you’d die. More for the lucky sons of bitches that made it. And I subscribe to that ideology. Whoever said that sh#t could get a medal in my book and slap my mother all in the same, I wouldn't give a f@#k because that is how the world works, Joe. That’s why I did what I did, Joe. It’s survival of the fittest. And we have to be the fittest motherf@#kers in the room.

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All monologues are property and copyright of their owners. Monologues are presented on StageAgent for educational purposes only.

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