“STAY! I STAY YOU! I render you powerles...

“STAY! I STAY YOU! I render you powerless and motionless! All right, I can’t do it, but put down the phone, please. I’ll tell you everything. I’ll tell you what I know, take it or leave it….God and Satan were sitting around having one of those philosophical debates-this was a week ago Tuesday. And Satan was sitting there in this pink suit-gorgeous tan, little mole on his cheek...And Satan says there is not one man on the face of the earth, in the entire universe--regardless of race, religion, Polish, whatever--who would not renounce God once the Devil put enough heat on. Can you believe it? Two grown deities talking like this? To which God said--this is a quote, they got it on tape--one man would never renounce. And that man is…(makes a bungle sound) Ta tum ta tum ta tum ta tum taaa….JOE BENJAMIN! Thrills, right?...So they make a bet--I’m only telling you what I heard--and the bet is, the Devil will make your life so miserable, you’ll renounce God! S-o-o-o, that’s it. Hell of a story, isn’t it?

NOTE: Monologue begins at approximately 6:30.