(DEWEY, a nervous student dressed in far...

When Bad Things Happen to Good People

Dewey

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(DEWEY, a nervous student dressed in farmer’s clothes, enters and walks to center stage. Stops. Out to audience:)

DEWEY: Welcome to Kansas. My name’s farmer Ben. I bet a lot of you think nothing ever interesting could happen on a farm in Kansas, and for the most part you’re right. Nothing really has. That is, until one day, a horrendous tornado swept through town and took my Aunt Dorothy to a mystical place called Oz. But I’m getting ahead myself. Let me first introduce you to…

(Beat. DEWEY looks very lost.)

DEWEY: To, uh…

(Beat. Uh oh. Calling to the back of the house:)

DEWEY: Line!

(No response.)

DEWEY: I know you said that during a real performance we wouldn’t be allowed to call for line but… I need a line. I think just giving me my line would be better than holding up the show so. Line. Line!

(Still no response. He laughs nervously. He looks off, starting to panic.)

DEWEY: Hello? Is Ms. Rhinehart even there, guys? Anyone. Does anyone have the script? (To the Stage Manager, off) Lucy, you have the script right?

[From off stage, unheard:] No.

DEWEY: What do you mean you don’t have a script? But you’re the stage manager! How do you not have a copy of the script?! How are you cuing the show? But I don’t know my lines! Where’s Ms. Rhinehart!? A date?!

(Beat. Lucy says something from off stage.)

DEWEY: A date?! (Beat. Then faces out:) So… I’m gonna leave now. Hope you enjoy our one-act version of The Wizard of Oz. I’m sorry I forgot my monologue.

(DEWEY walks off stage.)

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