Stones In His Pockets

I’ll have the lemon meringue pie please

Charlie Conlan

Stones In His Pockets

See more monologues from Marie Jones


Age Range
Act One, Scene One
Time & Place
Film set near a small village in Co. Kerry, Ireland
Time Period
Show Type

Monologue Context

This monologue opens the play and introduces Charlie Conlan to the audience. Charlie

Monologue Text

I’ll have the lemon meringue pie please … I know I was up before but it’s not for me … it’s for my mate … yes he, is, he is an extra I swear … he can’t come and get it himself because he has just sprained his ankle … okay … (To the man behind him) don’t shuv there’s plenty left … (To caterer) an accident report sheet? … he only went over on it, it’s not life threatening … no he doesn’t want a full dinner he only wants the sweet … (To man behind him) I know we are only meant to have one helping but it’s not for me … (To caterer) Look, I don’t know why he can eat a sweet and not his dinner if he’s sick, what am I a doctor or something … the fella asked me to go and get him a helping of lemon meringue pie … fine fine … No problem. (Walks away) Jesus Christ the Spanish Inquisition to get a bloody pudding.

Jones, Marie. Stones In His Pockets. London: Nick Hern Books Ltd., 2000.

Act One: p.9

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