Picasso at the Lapin Agile

“I know that there are two subjects in p


Picasso at the Lapin Agile

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Age Range
Time & Place
Paris bar, Lapin Agile, 1904
Time Period
Show Type

Monologue Context

Sagot enters the Lapin Agile in search of Picasso. Hearing that Picasso is not in,

Monologue Text

“I know that there are two subjects in paintings that no one will buy. One is Jesus, and the other is sheep. Love him as much as they want, no one really wants a painting of Jesus in the living room. You're having a few people over, having a few drinks, and there's Jesus over the sofa. Somehow it doesn't work. And not in the bedroom either, obviously. I mean you want Jesus watching over you but not while you're in the missionary position. You could put him in the kitchen maybe, but then that's sort of insulting to Jesus. Jesus, ham sandwich, Jesus, ham sandwich; I wouldn't like it and neither would He. Can't sell a male nude either, unless they're messengers. Why a messenger would want to be nude I don't know. You'd think they'd at least need a little pouch or something. In fact, if a nude man showed up at my door and I asked, "Who is it?” and he said, "Messenger," I would damn well look and see if he has a pouch and if he doesn't, I'm not answering the door. Sheep are the same, don't ask me why, can't sell 'em.”

Steve Martin, Picasso at the Lapin Agile, from Picasso at the Lapin Agile and Other Plays, Grove Press, NY., 1996, p. 35.

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