One Man, Two Guvnors

I’ve got two jobs, how did that happen?

Francis Henshall

One Man, Two Guvnors

See more monologues from Richard Bean, Carlo Goldoni


Age Range
Act One, Scene Two
Time & Place
Brighton, England, 1960s
Time Period
Show Type

Monologue Context

Francis has just received a second job and is amazed with his achievements. He is

Monologue Text

I’ve got two jobs, how did that happen? You got to concentrate ain’t ya, with two jobs. Kaw! I can do it, long as I don’t get confused. But I get confused easily. I don’t get confused that easily. Yes I do. I’m my own worst enemy. Stop being negative. I’m not being negative. I’m being realistic. I’ll screw it up. I always do. Who screws it up? You, you’re the role model for village idiots everywhere. Me?! You’re nothing without me. You’re the cock up! Don’t call me a cock up, you cock up! (He slaps himself.) You slapped me!? Yeah, I did. And I’m glad I did. (He punches himself back.) That hurt. Good. You started it. (A fight breaks out, where he ends up on the floor, and going over tables.)

Video Examples

Half-Price Ticket Hot Sellers