Dinner at Eight

Business thing! At a time like this you

Millicent Jordan

Dinner at Eight

See more monologues from George S. Kaufman


Age Range
Act Two, Scene 4
Time & Place
Sitting Room, Jordan home, New York City,
Time Period
Show Type

Monologue Context

Millicent Jordan is a nervous, high-strung hostess, whose carefully planned dinner

Monologue Text

Business thing! At a time like this you talk about a business thing! And feeling rotten. This is a nice time for you to say you’re feeling rotten! You come to me with your -- (turning to Paula) -- and you, whimpering about Ernest! Some little lovers’ quarrel! I’m expected to listen to business and Ernest and headaches when I’m half out of my mind! Do you know what’s happened to me! I’ve had the most hellish day that anybody ever had! No aspic for dinner -- and that Vance woman coming in -- and and Gustave looking like a prize fighter -- and sending for crab meat -- crab meat -- and now, on top of everything, do you know what’s happened! The Ferncliffes aren’t coming to dinner! They call up at this hour, those miserable cockneys -- they call up and say they’ve gone to Florida! Florida! And who can I get at this hour! Nobody! I’ve only got eight people! Eight people isn’t a dinner. Who can I get? And you come to me with your idiotic little -- I’m the one who ought to be in bed! I’m the one who’s in trouble! Trouble! You don’t know what trouble is -- either one of you!

Ferber, Edna and Kaufman, George S. Dinner at Eight. Samuel French, New York, NY. 1959. p. 108-109.

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