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Start: I have spent the last several day...

Crumpet

The Santaland Diaries

Joe Mantello David Sedaris

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Character
Gender
Male
Playing Age
Adult
Style
Comedic
Act/Scene
Act One, Scene One
Time & Place
Macy’s Department Store, New York City, 1980s, 1990s
Length
Medium
Time Period
Contemporary
Show Type
Play
Age Guidance
Thirteen Plus (PG-13)

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Text

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Start: I have spent the last several days sitting in a crowded, windowless, Macy’s classroom undergoing the first phases of Elf Training.

[... ... ...]

They closed the meeting saying, “I want you to remember that even if you are assigned Photo Elf on a busy weekend, YOU ARE NOT SANTA’S SLAVE.”

For full extended monologue, please refer to clips or the script edition cited here: Mantello, Joe, and Sedaris, David. The Santaland Diaries. Dramatists Play Service, New York, NY. 1998. p. 12.

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