Start: I have spent the last several day...
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Newly christened Crumpet, our hero has just begun
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Start: I have spent the last several days sitting in a crowded, windowless, Macy’s classroom undergoing the first phases of Elf Training.
[... ... ...]
They closed the meeting saying, “I want you to remember that even if you are assigned Photo Elf on a busy weekend, YOU ARE NOT SANTA’S SLAVE.”
For full extended monologue, please refer to clips or the script edition cited here: Mantello, Joe, and Sedaris, David. The Santaland Diaries. Dramatists Play Service, New York, NY. 1998. p. 12.
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