Sshhh!...Is that you, Daphne? (_The tabl
See more monologues from Noël Coward
Madame Arcati has been asked by Charles Condomine to lead a seance in his house. She
Sshhh!...Is that you, Daphne? (The table gives a louder bump) Is your cold better, dear? (The table gives two loud bumps, very quickly) Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you doing anything for it? (The table bumps several times) I’m afraid she’s rather fretful…(There is silence) Is there anyone there who wishes to speak to anyone here? (After a pause the table gives a bump) Ah! Now we’re getting somewhere...No, Daphne, don’t do that dear, you’re hurting me...Daphne, dear please...Oh, oh, oh! Be good, there’s a dear child...You say there is someone there who wishes to speak to someone here? (One bump) Is it me? (Two sharp bumps) Is it Dr. Bradman? (Two bumps) Is it Mrs. Bradman? (Two bumps) Is it Mrs. Condomine? (Several very loud bumps, which continue until Madame Arcati shouts it down) Stop it! Behave yourself! Is it Mr. Condomine? (There is dead silence for a moment, and then a very loud single bump) There’s someone who wishes to speak to you Mr. Condomine.
Noel Coward. Blithe Spirit. Samuel French Acting Edition. London: 1941. p.17.