Welcome to the first podcast entry of my...

Welcome to the first podcast entry of my diary, updated daily at monoblog.com. Let’s hear it for my band -- that’s Casio in the background. Casio’s been programmed to play the only three chords I know over and over while I improvise a new song, live, before your ears, America. Ideally, the music would be a little more interesting, but I can’t play and sing at the same time, and I have no friends to help me out. “But Diwata,” you’re saying to yourselves, “You’re so odd and frumpy -- you must have friends.” But no, I don’t. All I have is my music………. My high school will be doing the timeless classic Once Upon a Mattress, and this year, like every other year, I will not get cast because of my talentless drama teacher -- a man I’ll call gay-guy-with-a-receding-hairline in order to protect Mr. Walter M. Healy’s anonymity. But this year, I think America should decide whether or not I get to showcase my skills in North Salem High’s multipurpose room. “But Diwata,” you’re asking, “How can we show you our undying love?” Calm yourselves, I’ll tell you. You see, Mr. Healy was foolish enough to include his email address on the bottom of his class syllabus; so I say, let the e-campaign begin: if you think that I should play the lead in the spring play, write the fool at dramedy@aol.com. That’s D-R-A-M-E-D-Y at A-O-L.com. (She turns the keyboard on, starting the musical vamp.) Mr. Healy, this verse… is for you.

Karam, Stephen. Speech and Debate. Dramatists Play Service, New York, NY. 2008. p. 21.