Don’t be a fool, Arthur. I’ll get hold o...

Don’t be a fool, Arthur. I’ll get hold of him some how. He may be Prime Minister one of these days. I wonder what his telephone number is. [She gets up and looks in a book, then sits down at the telephone.] Gerrard 7035. If he comes once because I force him to, he’ll come again because he likes it. This house is like the kingdom of heaven: I have to compel them to come in…is Lord Sturrey in? Lady George Grayston. I’ll hold the line. [Making her voice sweet and charming.] Is that you, Lord Sturrey? It’s Pearl Grayston speaking. I just rang up to say it doesn’t matter a bit about tonight. Of course, I’m disappointed you can’t come. But you must come another day, will you? That’s very nice of you. How about this day week ? Oh, I’m sorry. Would Thursday suit you? Oh! Well, how about Friday? You’re engaged every evening next week? You are in demand. Well, I’ll tell you what, get your book and tell me what day you are free. Tuesday fortnight. Yes, that'll suit me beautifully. 8.30. I’m so glad you chose that day, because I'm having Kreisler in to play. I shall look forward to seeing you. Good-bye. [She puts down the receiver.] This time I’ve got him. The ape thinks he understands music.

For full extended monologue, please refer to clips or the script edition cited here: W. Somerset Maugham, Our Betters, William Heinemann LTD, 1924, pp. 63-64. Full Text

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