The Prince of Wales! Oh! What wouldn't I...

The Prince of Wales! Oh! What wouldn't I give to have the Prince of Wales in my house! New York has lost its heart to him. I was just telling Mr. Farnsworth yesterday that I'd give anything to have the Prince here. I would establish my social position for life! And I've such a reputation for being a wonderful hostess. (The telephone rings) Dear me! -- the phone -- Hello -- Mrs. Sedgwick -- Yes -- this is Mrs. Pringle -- What? No -- Oh! Caught in a snow drift -- can't get another car? (She puts her hand over the telephone and speaks delightedly to ELAINE) Good! The widow can't come -- that leaves us twelve -- remove two plates, Dunham. (Mrs. Pringle continues into the phone) Oh! That's a shame! I'm heartbroken. Oh! My dear, how can we get along without you! But have you really tried? Oh, I'm reduced to tears. Good-bye, dear. (She hangs up the receiver and then picks it up again) Well, I'm glad she dropped out -- Central -- give me Lakeview 5971 -- Dunham, with two less, you can save two cocktails and at least four glasses of champagne. (Into the telephone) Has Mr. Morgan come in yet? Well, don't give him the message I telephoned before about crossing the street to Mrs. Pringle's for dinner. It's too late -- you understand? (She hangs up the receiver) Well, anyway, I've invited Clem, returned my indebtedness and saved my champagne besides.

For full extended monologue, please refer to clips or the script edition cited here: Alice Gerstenberg, Fourteen, Public domain, 1919.

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