Guess where I’m goin’? Jane’s booked a t...

Guess where I’m goin’? Jane’s booked a taxi to take us to the airport. She’s pickin’ me up at four o’clock. (Suddenly.) Four o’clock. (Checking clock and her watch.) Oh Jeez, oh jeez. Passport. Passport. (Checks the content of her passport.) Passport, tickets, money. Passport, tickets, money. Yeh. Oh God, oh God please say it will be all right. O I feel sick. Those travel sickness pills mustn’t be workin’--I still feel sick an’ I’ve taken four already. An’ I’ve only travelled up an’ down the stairs. Oh God, passport, tickets, money, passport. I got a full one, a proper passport. Well, you never know Shirley--it could be the start of somethin’--this year Greece, next year...the world. [... … …] I don’t mean I’m gonna be a girl again--because you can never be that; but instead of sayin’ ‘Christ, I’m forty-two’. I’m gonna say--’Shirley, you’re only forty-two, isn’t that marvellous’. (She looks at herself in the mirror) Not bad, not bad. Oh hold on, hold on. (She places the hat on her head and examines the effect in the mirror.) What do you think wall? Oh shut up wall, I’m not talkin’ to you. (She smiles at herself in the mirror.) Well, that’s it Shirley--all dolled up an’ ready to go. Case packed? Case packed. Passports, tickets, money? Passports, tickets, money. Four o’clock Jane’s pickin’ me up. (She looks at her watch.) Twenty past two.

For full extended monologue, please refer to clips or the script edition cited here: Willy Russell. “Shirley Valentine” in Shirley Valentine and One For The Road. Methuen Publishing, 1993, pp.15-23.