NICOLE begins recording herself....

NICOLE begins recording herself.

The first thing you have to know for any of this to make sense is that I have a very special brain.

So everyone is talking about Sybil like they knew her. But no one did, not really. Other than me.

It’s funny how you can know so much about someone and so little about them.

Like for example, I knew Sybil had a beautiful, unique soul. I knew that no one understood her, appreciated her, defended her, like I did.

If you watched Dream Space at all, then you probably went to her official page on Reddit, which I was the official facilitator of. I called it the Dream Team. It was a place where people could have in-depth conversations about Dream Space. I started it from the beginning, back when Sybil had only a few videos. As Sybil’s popularity exploded, so did the Dream Team. We eventually had over 200,000 subscribers.

Sounds great, right?

The problem was that the Dream Team wasn’t a place for meaningful conversation; it just mostly became a place for memes. Mindlessness. No one seemed to understand her, really.

It needed to be so much more. She deserved it. So I decided to make a secret, invite-only sub-Reddit, with about 100 true followers, where we planned on how to get rid of all the fakers. We worked in shifts, nearly twenty-four hours a day, a coordinated plan of attack. We’d barrage the idiotic memes with scathing comments that revealed just how stupid they were.

But this army needed generals. So I created a sub-sub-Reddit group. For the core followers.

It was just three of us: me of course, Tony from Tampa, and Linh from Da Nang. Together, we set out to prove that we were the only real followers. We committed ourselves to letting no one off the hook and we’d make sure that all posts in the sub-Reddit--the one a level up--held up to tough scrutiny and purity tests.

By this point, I had stopped going to school altogether. This was so much more important. I was spending all day defending Sybil against fakers and responding to personal attacks and when I wasn’t on Reddit I was actually listening to Sybil. I found that it was getting harder to feel the special buzz in my brain, so I’d need to spend more and more time on Dream Space.

I didn’t sleep a lot then. There wasn’t enough time! And I ended up having to spend a lot of time figuring out ways for my school to not contact my parents or vice versa.

Then came the contest. Sybil announced to the Dream Team that followers could submit their own ASMR videos to her and she would post the winner on her official channel.

It was finally time to get the recognition I deserved.

Linh suggested we three should submit a video as a collective. Tony and I vehemently hated the idea and agreed that it showed that Linh did not truly belong, so she was quickly removed.

I worked day and night for a week on my video. It was a masterpiece. Whereas Tony’s was just a basic copycat video of what was already on Dream Space, mine had a genius twist: mine told an actual story, the story of me and Sybil meeting, a story of seduction, of passion, a story ultimately about true love. There were layers of complex symbolism that Tony of course completely missed, but I was sure Sybil would understand.

But I was so, so wrong.

Tony, if you can believe it, he won. And Sybil...she kicked me out of the Dream Team and said that if I ever attempted to contact her she’d put a restraining order against me. I messaged her saying it must’ve been some mistake but she’d already blocked me. I couldn’t get into the Dream Team, which I started to technically I owned it. I was blocked from watching her videos. Just like that.

I had so many questions and no answers--no way to get answers.

Unbelievable. She was so...ungrateful. Sybil owed me everything. I gave her so much of myself--my time, my energy, my love, my sanity, even my money-- I donated almost everything I made in my after-school job to her Patreon--I mean, before I was fired. My donation level was top-tier.

What a betrayal...

Now... Now I don’t know who I am, who I’m supposed to be, who to follow.

Being scared does not make me less, it does not make me weak.

So whoever’s watching this, just know that Sybil was cruel and got what she deserved, and Dream Space was nothing more than a scam.

And that’s why I want everyone to check out my Kickstarter, link’s in my bio.

She stops recording herself.

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