Start: What do you mean, nothing? You’re...

The Odd Couple

Oscar Madison

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Start: What do you mean, nothing? You’re something! A person! You're flesh and blood and bones and hair and nails and ears. You're not a fish.

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End: ...and eat little green pills and send suicide telegrams.No one else does that, Felix. I’m telling you, you’re-the-only-one-of-its-kind-in-the-world! (Goes to bar.) Now drink that.

For full monologue, see:
Simon, Neil. The Odd Couple, Samuel French, London, 1966, p.33.

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