It’s not that I don’t want to have a bab...

It’s not that I don’t want to have a baby with you, it’s that I don’t want to have a baby. I was so relieved when you ran out of that office. My entire adult life whenever I’ve thought about having a baby, I’ve thought about being pregnant. That’s what I wanted. And thinking about all the strange cravings you would have and how your body would be changing and to hear you try to explain to me what it felt like to have someone kicking you inside made me so jealous I didn’t want to look at you. I kept having nightmares of the day you started to show that I would start to hate you. And I don’t want to hate you and I’m so afraid I’ll start to hate the baby too.