The Producers

How humiliating. Max Bialystock! Max Bia

Max Bialystock

The Producers

See more monologues from Thomas Meehan, Mel Brooks


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How humiliating. Max Bialystock! Max Bialystock! You know who I used to be? Max Bialystock! King of Broadway! Six shows running at once! Lunch at Del Monaco's, $200 suits. You see this? This once held a pearl as big as your eye!… Look at me now. Look at me now! I'm wearing a cardboard belt! I used to have thousands of investors begging, pleading to put their money into a Max Bialystock production. Look at my investors now… voila! Hundreds of little old ladies stopping at Max Bialystock's office to grab a last thrill on their way to the cemetery! (pause) You have exactly ten seconds to change that look of disgusting pity into one of enormous respect… one...two... Do the books, do the books.