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How humiliating. Max Bialystock! Max Bia...

Max Bialystock

The Producers

Thomas Meehan Mel Brooks

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Monologue Overview

Gender
Male
Playing Age
Adult
Style
Comedic
Length
Short
Time Period
Contemporary
Show Type
Musical
Age Guidance
Thirteen Plus (PG-13)

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Context

Text

How humiliating. Max Bialystock! Max Bialystock! You know who I used to be? Max Bialystock! King of Broadway! Six shows running at once! Lunch at Del Monaco's, $200 suits. You see this? This once held a pearl as big as your eye!… Look at me now. Look at me now! I'm wearing a cardboard belt! I used to have thousands of investors begging, pleading to put their money into a Max Bialystock production. Look at my investors now… voila! Hundreds of little old ladies stopping at Max Bialystock's office to grab a last thrill on their way to the cemetery! (pause) You have exactly ten seconds to change that look of disgusting pity into one of enormous respect… one...two... Do the books, do the books.

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