Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the pr...

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the prosecution proposes to demonstrate beyond a shadow of a doubt that Philosophy is an idle chatterer of no particular use to anyone. She constantly distracts our students from more valuable studies, and, worst of all, she pollutes their minds with delusional and dangerous ideas. With all the advances in scientific knowledge, from quarks and bosons to the Big Bang, what need have we for idle speculation on the why there is something rather than nothing? With all the information available via the internet with the click of a button, why would someone want to look inside themselves for answers? Why slow our civilization’s inevitable progress with spurious protests regarding the ethics of animal experimentation or genetic engineering? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, on behalf of my associates, Mr. Bass and Ms. Pike, I implore you to consider very real and very serious threat that Philosophy poses to our society and its future.