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Alex is describing how it feels to be living on the autism spectrum,
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My mind is f#$ked up.
Has been since the day I was born.
My entire life, I tried to hide who I am.
Ashamed of the way I was.
Embarrassed of how I was born.
Felt that people wouldn’t understand.
By the time I did start telling my friends, they just
kept asking:
“What’s it like?”
I couldn’t give them a good answer
even if I wanted to. How could I know
what it was like to be the way I am, if
I didn’t even know what it was like
NOT to be the way I am?
It pisses me off.
How people try and
“understand”.
When people say they are
“aware”.
When they think they can
“help”.
They can’t help me. I learned that
A long time ago. I’m destined to live with
this Until the day I die, a day I used to wish
Would come every day because of it.
Because of the doctors who kept telling me I had to be
“treated”.
Or the so-called "advocates" who still think we need a
“cure”.
Because of the idiots who think this is the same
as being stupid.
Or because of the assholes who still use this
as a word that is intended to be insulting.
Too many of them
still aren’t able to see I’m every bit as human
as they are.
I don’t need people to understand.
I don’t care if people show their
“awareness”.
I just want them to
accept me for who I am,
flaws and everything...
I wouldn’t wish this on my own worst enemy...
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