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- Female: 3
- Male: 3
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Context
The Smiths and the Martins are gathered for a dinner party when they receive a surprise visit from the Fire Chief, hoping they might have some fires for him to extinguish. They don’t, but they cajole him into staying anyways to tell stories, recite poetry, and liven up their evening.
All characters speak with British RP accents. This is a classic absurdist scene and should be played seriously, with no commentary on the nonsensical and absurdist language.
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START: Mr. Smith: Oh! How do you do. (He glances at Mrs. Smith and the Martins, who are all surprised.) It’s the Fire Chief!
Fire Chief: (He of course is in uniform and is wearing an enormous shining helmet.) Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. (The Smiths and the Martins are still slightly astonished. Mrs. Smith turns her head away, in a temper, and does not reply to his greeting.) Good evening, Mrs. Smith. You appear to be angry.
Mrs. Smith: Oh!
Mr. Smith: You see it’s because my wife is a little chagrined at having been proved wrong.
[... … …]
END: Fire Chief: (Moving towards the door, then stopping) Speaking of that--the bald soprano? (General silence, embarrassment)
Mrs. Smith: She always wears her hair in the same style.
Fire Chief: Ah! Then goodbye, ladies and gentlemen.
Mr. Martin: Good luck, and a good fire!
Fire Chief: Let’s hope so. For everybody.
For full scene, please refer to the clip or the script edition cited here: Ionesco, Eugène, The Bald Soprano & Other Plays, “The Bald Soprano”, Grover Press, 1958, pp. 24-37.
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