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The Santa Interviews

PRANCER: And I've put in a lot of hours...

Overview

Show Type
Play
Age Guidance
Youth (Y)/General Audiences (G)
Genders
  • Female: 1
  • Male: 2
Playing Age
Early Teen, Late Teen, Child
Style
Comedic
Length
Short
Time Period
Contemporary
Time/Place
The North Pole
Act/Scene
Act 1

Context

Text

PRANCER: And I've put in a lot of hours pulling your sleigh across the sky, landing on billions of rooftops and all that stuff. So now, I figure I am ready for a change.

GIMBLE: And you want to work in the Christmas Cookie factory?

PRANCER: Yes.

GIMBLE: Making delicate intricately designed cookies with your hooves.

PRANCER: Yes.

GIMBLE: You think your hooves can roll dough and add gumdrop buttons?

PRANCER: Sure! It'll be a snap. (She tries to snap, but she can't.)

GIMBLE: But you don't have fingers.

PRANCER: (Annoyed, raising her hoof.) No, Gimble, I don't have fingers, but if I did, imagine what I would be doing with one of them right now.

SANTA: Prancer -- you are a brilliant reindeer, one of the best I've ever had. Why in the name of Kris Kringle would you want to transfer? Am I not feeding you enough carrots?

PRANCER: The carrots are wonderful.

SANTA: Oh dear, you don't have an egg nog problem do you? Because we can get you help at Egg Nog's Anonymous.

PRANCER: No, Dasher is the one with the Egg Nog problem.

SANTA: Then why don't you want to fly on my sleigh?

PRANCER: Santa, it's not you. You're terrific. You're the jolliest boss a reindeer could hope for. But... But...

SANTA: But what?

PRANCER: That's exactly the problem. Blitzen's Butt. I've been flying behind that reindeer for centuries and I can't take it anymore. And until that deer changes his diet, I am not going back on that sleigh.

SANTA: I see. I'll tell you what, how about we rearrange the order. I'll put you next to... hmmm... Let me see. Which one is that handsome buck that I know you secretly like.

PRANCER: Santa! I think of my fellow reindeer on a purely professional level.

SANTA: Let's see, was it Dasher? Dancer? Comet? Cupid?

PRANCER: Oh, Cupid, please put me next to Cupid!

SANTA: Next to Cupid it is!

PRANCER: Thank you so much, Santa! Wait till I tell Vixen. She's going to be so jealous.

Prancer exits.

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