(A 1600s girl steps out onto the stage....

(A 1600s girl steps out onto the stage. She sways from side to side.)

Jamie: Where is she from?

Mom: The 1600s.

Jamie: Why is she swaying back and forth in her bedroom?

Mom: She's not in her bedroom. She's a pilgrim, and she's on a boat, traveling across the Atlantic Ocean.

1600s Kid: get on with the story, please. I am getting sea sick.

Mom: And that little girl was as cantankerous as an old sea dog. And she said...

1600s Kid: I already swabbed the deck. I dusted off the captain's spy scope. I even picked out the rats that were hiding in the pickle barrel.

Jamie: Gross!

1600s Kid: So why do I have to make my bed?

Mom: Her mother clucked her tongue and said, "That reminds me of a story about your double-great-greatgreat-grandfather, when he was a little boy.

Jamie: Now how far back are we going?

Mom: Hundreds and hundreds of years, to the middle ages.

Jamie: Like with kings and queens? Was our ancestor a knight?

(A little Medieval Kid stands heroically center stage. He holds up a small broom as if it was a sword.)

Mom: No. He was a peasant. But he was very adventurous, and loved to frolic and play outside. Sound familiar? But on this day, he was as wicked as a warlock, and he said...

Medieval Kid: I already sheared the sheep and milked the yak. I dusted off sister's loom. I even planted the wheat and picked up all of the pig droppings.

Jamie: That's even grosser than the rats in the pickle barrel.

Medieval Kid: We use the animal droppings to help stoke our fire. But it is kind of gross. So tell me, ma-ma, why do I have to make my bed?

Mom: His mother just put her hands on her hips and said, "That reminds me of a story about your double-greatgreat-double-double-great-great-grandmother, when she was a little girl. And that little girl was more thunderous than Thor, and she said..."

(A girl with a viking helmet struts onto the stage.)

Jamie: (Trying to guess the era.) Oh, I know, I know. We're back in Viking Times.

Viking Girl: Silence, scrawny boy! This is my scene! I already stoked the fire for the sword maker. I dusted off the sacred blowing horn. I even picked up the broken spears and patched up father's war wounds.

Jamie: No toys to put away?

Viking Girl: Toys? What are toys?

Jamie: I guess not.

Viking Girl: So tell me Mama Viking, after all of this work, why do I have to make my bed?

(A viking mother, looking very gruff, enters.)

Mother: Her mother just burped---

Viking Mother: Burp!

Mother: And said...

Viking Mother: I shall tell you, my obnoxious viking daughter, that all of your grumbling reminds me of a story about your triple-great-triple-great-triple-great-great-grandfather, when he was a little boy. And that little boy was as ill-tempered as a caged lion, and he said...

(The viking family makes way as a Boy from Ancient Rome enters.)

Roman Boy: Make way, make way! Gladiators coming through!

(Two gladiators battle their way across the stage.)

Jamie: Gladiators! We must be in ancient Rome!

Mom: 121 A.D. Almost two thousand years ago.

Roman Boy: No time to talk. I've got so much to do. (He pantomimes his chores as he talks.) I've got to unclog the aqueducts.

Jamie: What are aqueducts?

Roman Boy: It's how we get our water. And after that I dusted off the statues in the courtyard. (Several actors can pose as statues.) And I even picked up after the gladiators. (One or two gladiators can fall over, or just drop a sword -- the Roman Boy then carries them away.)

Jamie: That sounds hard.

Roman Boy: It is. Especially when lions are involved. So, after all of this, why do I have to make my bed?

Mom: His mother just brushed her golden hair and said, "That reminds me of a story about your triple-greatgreat-triple-triple-great-great-great grandmother, when she was a little girl. And that little girl was as cranky as a crocodile. And she said...

Jamie: Just how far back does this story go?

A History of Messy Rooms

Schools and non-profit organizations may use the ROYALTY FREE PLAYS without paying a fee. Please give credit to "Wade Bradford" in any promotional and performance material.