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MOM and DAD: Hi Grandpa!

MOM: Happy Thanksgiving.

DAD: Is there anything we can do to help?

GRANDPA: I’m glad you asked that. Go out back and chop off the turkey’s head.

DAD: Oh. I was hoping you would have me set the table.

GRANDPA: Too bad. Get chopping!

MOM: Be brave dear.

DAD: But honey, you know the sight of blood makes me queasy.

MOM: I’m needed in the kitchen.

DAD: Well, sometimes a man has to do what a man has to do—

(A son and a daughter [Terri] enter.)

DAD: Make his kids do the work.

SON: Hey Dad, is dinner ready yet?

DAD: Son, this is a very special Thanksgiving because I’m giving you a very special responsibility. I need you to chop off the turkey’s head.

SON: Gross!

DAD: And while you’re at it, pluck the feathers, take out the innards, and give it to Grandma to put in the oven.

SON: But—but—but…

DAD: Have fun, son.

The son turns to Terri, who has been engrossed in a book.

SON: Terri! Hey bookworm! Did you hear what Dad just said to me?

TERRI: No, I was too busy reading my history book.

SON: You mean you didn’t hear a single word Dad said?

TERRI: No. What did he say?

SON: He wants you to kill the turkey.

He pushes her toward the animal pen, then exits. Note: All of the other human characters have cleared the stage too.

TERRI: Well, I guess if we want a turkey dinner, someone has to do it.