**Scene 4: “A little burnt around the ed...

**Scene 4: “A little burnt around the edges” ** _(In the yoga studio, after prenatal yoga, Leda is sitting awkwardly...she tries to leave and has to sit down again. She is having increasingly more trouble breathing. Mother Nature enters behind her.) _

Leda: I can’t seem to breathe.

Mother Nature: You are breathing for two. Your body is adjusting. It’s only natural.

Leda: This baby isn’t even born yet, and already it’s taking from me.

Mother Nature: You’d better get used to it. It is a lifelong process of giving.

Leda: Look, I don’t need to get all deep here, I’m just trying to find my breath.

Mother Nature: Where did you see it last?

Leda: You sound like my mother. She used to say that to me.

Mother Nature: Maybe she knew what she was talking about. Sometimes there is wisdom in the clichés and catchphrases of mothers. Where is your mother now?

Leda: She died a long time ago, if you must know.

Mother Nature: I’m sorry she’s no longer here.

Leda: So am I. What of it. It doesn’t get you anywhere.

Mother Nature: Why are you so angry?

Leda: What makes you think I’m so angry?

Mother Nature: Mother’s intuition…

Leda: You sound like my therapist. “Tell us, Leda, why are you so angry? Is it because your mother left you?” Everything in my whole entire psyche has to do with my mother, apparently. My poor dead mother. A woman I haven’t known since I was 8 and a half years old…my mother…such a funny thing to say…I don’t even know what that word means.

Mother Nature: I bet you do…Can you tell me?

Leda: Oh, yeah sure, o-kay I’ll tell you and you’ll make everything all better. Right? Isn’t that how it works?

Mother Nature: If you don’t want to tell me that’s fine. You may find this hard to believe, little miss thing, but you are not the only creature on earth that needs me. (She turns to go.)

Leda: Wait!

Mother Nature: (Stops and turns to look at Leda.)

Leda: When my mother was sick in bed, my friend…Mia… came to my house with a pie that she had made with her mom. She meant well. She really did. She was my best friend. But, when she showed up at my door with that pie, I wanted to scream. I wanted to throw it against the wall. The last thing I wanted to do was eat it. And I didn’t say thank you or anything. I just looked at her and said, “It’s burned.” Because it was. It was a little burned around the edges. And she left and ran off back to her perfect mother. The mother who could hold her and comfort her. My mother died the next day. So, in my mind…what I thought was…there are two kinds of mothers. The good ones, the ones who bake apple pies. The ones who stay…and then there are the bad ones…the ones who can’t even stick around and finish what they start.

Mother Nature: I see…so there are only two kinds of mothers…

Leda: Yes, as far as I know.

Mother Nature: The good ones and the bad ones.

Leda: Yes, I’ve already said.

Mother Nature: (Starts humming) Heaven, I’m in Heaven.

Leda: How do you know that song?

Mother Nature: How do YOU know that song?

Leda: That’s the song my mother used to sing to me. That was her favorite song.

Mother Nature: I can see her now…swaying with you in her arms, gazing at you…eyes wide with wonder. “How can perfection be so small?” she thought. “How can my whole life fit so snugly against my breast?” Is that her Leda? Is that your bad mother?

Leda: Leave me alone!

Mother Nature: I think you’re going to need me.

Leda: (Very flustered) Look, I don’t know what you’re trying to say here. All I’m saying is that I don’t think I’m good mother material. Okay? The things I’ve done in my life…you don’t even want to know! I don’t think I deserve this baby. I don’t think I have what it takes to be a mother.

Mother Nature: Because you will be a bad mother? You will not be able to “finish what you start.”

Leda: I don’t know even know where to “start.”

Mother Nature: Well, you can “start” by losing the attitude. For someone who is supposed to be so deep, you sure don’t get it. There’s no good and bad in motherhood. There is only this grey area in between called “the best you can do.” You don’t remember do you?

Leda: Remember what?

Mother Nature: A week before your mother died when she got up and danced with you to that song. She was in so much pain, but she wanted to leave you with that. Dancing cheek to cheek. That was her moment, Leda. That was the best that she could do. That is in you, Leda. And it always will be. Even if it’s a memory… you’ve got to work with what you have. (Puts her hand on Leda’s face. For the first time, Leda doesn’t flinch away from her. She allows herself to be touched.)

Leda: Cheek to cheek…

Mother Nature: Cheek to cheek…

Leda: (Takes a moment with this, but then becomes distressed about something else.) Oh, but Mother Nature…

Mother Nature: What is it?

Leda: That’s not all I’m afraid of.

Mother Nature: What is it? You can tell me.

Leda: (Bursts out crying dramatically like a little girl having a tantrum, and yells loudly) I’m so afraid of stretchmarks! There I said it! How shallow am I? I just don’t want those lines on my skin!!! It will make me feel so flawed!!!

Mother Nature: Yes, I’d like to be able to say something about the beauty of stretch marks, and how they are the mark of womanhood...and all that crap. But, honestly, they weren’t my invention. They were His. (motions upward) But know this…the stretchmarks on your skin are the least of your worries. It’s the ones you can’t see that will leave the greatest mark. (She stares deep into her eyes, and says this in a very mystical way...then she vanishes.)

Leda: The ones I can’t see? (Very perplexed. Thinks about this for a moment...you see her mouthing the words...processing the deepness of what this could mean...”the ones I can’t see...hmmmm....she almost gets it...then loudly, confused) What the hell is that supposed to mean?!!!!