ADAM I’ve gotta close the place up. EV...

ADAM

I’ve gotta close the place up.

EVE

(Startled) Who?! Oh, hi. That’s okay. I’m just giving it a last look before I take off.

ADAM

How are you?

EVE

Fine?

ADAM

No. I mean really. How are you?

EVE

No sniffles. No headache. No fever. You?

ADAM

Same. Washing my hands often. Going home?

EVE

Isn’t everybody? You?

ADAM

I can’t get there without flying. And I can’t afford that on a GA Stipend. So I’ll hole up in my garret.

EVE Very Bohemian. (Beat) You just came through the door. Touch the handle?

ADAM

Um . . . yeah.

EVE

You need to sanitize.

ADAM

Right. Do you have any?

EVE

Yeah. Here. No wait! Six feet apart.

ADAM

Okay. Toss the bottle.

EVE

(Considering this) Are you gonna catch it?

ADAM

Of course.

EVE

But what if you don’t?

ADAM

Then it will fall on the floor and I’ll pick it up.

EVE

But then it’ll be contaminated, won’t it?

ADAM

From the floor?

EVE

Someone sneezes outside. You walk through that sneeze spot. Now you have virus on your shoes and you walk in here and contaminate my sanitizer bottle!

ADAM

I’ll pick it up real quick! Five second rule.

EVE

You really believe in that? We’re not in fun-time now.

ADAM

I’ll catch it.

EVE

But what if you don’t? Do you know how hard it is to get hold of this?

ADAM

Of course I know! EVERYONE knows. (Beat) What do you suggest?

EVE

Do you really need it?

ADAM

No. I was just gonna take a hit so I can lick my hand and get a jolt. Of course I need it.

EVE

Why don’t you have your own?

ADAM

It’s . . . never mind. Just hog it.

EVE

No. Why don’t you have any?

ADAM

You’ll think I’m bragging.

EVE

Tell me.

ADAM

A mother was trying to spit-clean wash her little girl on the street. I gave the last of mine to her so she could do a better job. I told her to keep it. I’ll get some more.

EVE

Where?

ADAM

I know a friend who has some. Right?

EVE

Okay. Stick out your hand. But keep away!

ADAM extends his hand. HE and EVE circle trying to connect without success.

ADAM begins singing the refrain from Bizet’s Toreador Song.

ADAM

Toreador, be on your guard!

You are a king,

Yours is the ring!

He makes several passes as the bull, holding his hands in front of him like horns. EVE joins the dance, using the sanitizer bottle as if it were a cape.

ADAM

And when you have won your sweet reward,

Your sweet reward,

With your sword!

She reaches into her backpack and takes out a rose which she clamps in her teeth as she dances.

She ends the dance when she triumphantly stabs down with the sanitizer of the quickly passing hand as ADAM ends his pass a full six feet away.

ADAM

Tada!

EVE

Ole!

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