GROVES: Was this bacchanal a celebration...

The Groves of Academe

Paul Groves

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GROVES: Was this bacchanal a celebration or a condolence?

PAUL: Celebration pretty much.

GROVES: Well that’s nice.

PAUL: I became an officially professional writer yesterday.

GROVES: You did?

PAUL: Which is to say: Money for words.

GROVES: What’d you write?

(Paul sits up; scratches, blasé.)

PAUL: It was like a contest kinda.

GROVES: Fiction?

PAUL: Kinda. Not a big thing really. You never heard of it.

GROVES: Well, congratulations, whatever it is.

PAUL: Yeah.

(Paul gets back on his feet, crosses to the bookshelf. While checking out titles:)

PAUL: So anyway, I figured I’d do what all great writers do. Get plastered.

GROVES: Is that what all great writers do, Paul?

PAUL: Sure seems that way. Faulkner, Fitzgerald, Lewis, O’Neill… They were all boozers.

GROVES: Y’know, none of them ever

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