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Mating Dance of the Werewolf

(ABBY kisses him lightly on the lips. K...

Overview

Show Type
Play
Age Guidance
Mature Audiences (M)
Characters
Genders
  • Female: 1
  • Male: 1
Playing Age
Adult, Young Adult
Style
Comedic
Length
Long
Time Period
Contemporary
Time/Place
Present Day, Ken's Apartment
Act/Scene
Act 2

Context

Text

(ABBY kisses him lightly on the lips. KEN gets poked by something. He lifts a twig from her hair.)

ABBY: Oh. Sorry. I was in the woods.

KEN: (contemplative) I know.

ABBY: Mind if I jump in the shower? I’m feeling really funky.

KEN: And after the shower you'll tell me what happened?

ABBY: What do you mean?

KEN: On your adventure or whatever. Something happened.

ABBY: Why do you say that?

KEN: A hunch.

(A moment.)

ABBY: I met someone.

KEN: I knew it.

ABBY: Except not really!

KEN: I knew it!!

ABBY: Not another man! Exactly. (then confesses:) He's a wolf.

KEN: You met a wolf?

ABBY: Yes.

KEN: Someone like you, you mean.

ABBY: No, I mean a wolf.

KEN: Full-time?

ABBY: Full time, full-blooded, full... I'm sorry, Ken. Full of something I find I need.

KEN: I'm assuming that “need” didn't include sex.

ABBY: Yes, it included, among other things... I'm not trying to hide it!

KEN: You slept with this...animal?!

ABBY: We did everything together.

KEN: Abby, you just met him!

ABBY: Wolves don't date.

KEN: I don't believe this. Who is he? What do you know about him? What's his name?

ABBY: They don't have names, either, Ken.

KEN: Oh? Or maybe he just didn't tell you?

ABBY: What?

KEN: Sure, he's probably got a wife and pups somewhere!

ABBY: Are you making a joke?

KEN: I don't know. This is all such new terrain to me.

ABBY: He doesn't have a wife and pups. Wolves are monogamous.

KEN: Oh? Are they? Except, of course, you.

ABBY: I'm a mixture. But still, yes, I am...or want to be! And that's why I'm here. Back. Because it bothered me a lot. And him.

KEN: Oh, he's concerned?

ABBY: Yes! He's incredibly ethical. Actually, you'd like him! Under other circumstances.

KEN: Like at the zoo.

ABBY: Stop it.

KEN: I hope you're not about to suggest that the three of us meet. That we all go camping together or something.

ABBY: Obviously, that's not possible.

KEN: So...what are you going to do?

ABBY: I don't know. I'm trying to decide.

KEN: On what basis?

ABBY: I don't know!

KEN: Mm. (then:) How about breakfast?

ABBY: What?

KEN: Oh come on, you remember. How on weekends I’d make you pancakes and bacon? Even squeeze fresh orange juice. Can he do that?

ABBY: No.

KEN: No. Probably just slaps a little raw carcass in front you. After chawing off his portion first, if I know the type.

ABBY: What if he does?

KEN: Abby, any time you want raw carcass, I'll talk to the butcher.

ABBY: I think you're missing the point.

KEN: The point is you have a choice! Wolves don't.

(ABBY starts to speak...but stops, finding no response.)

KEN: (taking hold of her) Abby, do you realize... This is the first time since we've been together--probably ever--that change hasn't just overtaken you! It's become a choice.

(ABBY crosses away, aimless. She gestures incomprehensibly.)

KEN: What?

(ABBY tries to speak, but can't.)

KEN: Tell me!

ABBY: (trying to contain exploding emotions) That smell! The one when we met! There was something about it. I couldn't tell what. Except that I wanted to roll in it. (turning away) But now that I have, I’m not so sure I like it.

KEN: Having a choice?

ABBY: (after a moment) Having to choose.

KEN: Abby, forgive me if this is bigoted. But being human is better. It beats being a wolf.

ABBY: No, I...I know what you're saying.

KEN: So okay then!

ABBY: But being human is so many things. So many of which contradict each other. It's hard to know who I am when I'm human. But with him, I know exactly who I am.

KEN: Sure. His submissive bitch.

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