Steven (in a friendly way): Princess! Pr...

Steven (in a friendly way): Princess! Princess! Are you awake?

Julia (enters yawning): I could barely sleep. I kept thinking of what tales of valor might unfold today.

Steven: Now you are teasing me, I think. (In a huffy voice) If you really don't want a story, we can always talk about something else.

Julia: What do you suggest?

Steven: Let's see. Answer me this. Is it men or women who fall more deeply in love?

Julia: Women, of course. There is no room for discussion.

Steven: But I claim it is men.

Julia: Then I see we have a battle on our hands. (She opens the gate.) Come through and state your reasons.

Steven: A topic such as love is very complicated, so I shall start with an obvious fact. It is widely accepted that women are beautiful creatures who far surpass men in both softness of skin and grace of movement.

Julia: Undoubtedly.

Steven: Then it is the male heart which is more often swept away with tender feelings. Women may find us charming, but men are practically forced by nature to be in love.

Julia: A very dubious argument. It is the fickle nature of men's hearts which forces us to become more beautiful. Women love far deeper qualities in men than their appearance. The best of men may be brave but gentle, and artful but true.

Steven: And what is it that makes the warrior gentle, or the trickster sincere? It is the alchemy of love which transforms our fickle hearts into gold.

Julia: Ah, you are clever - but false. You claim that women only love in men that part which loves them first. The more we love you, the more it shows that you love us.

Steven: Isn't that right?

Julia: Oh Steven! A woman can love a man before he even thinks of her, and long after he has forgotten to do so. Women are the raisers of children. Their hearts do not waver in the wind of temptation. They plant a tree and nurture it and help it grow. They don't just ravish and move on.

Steven: And what about men?

Julia: Men love because they are vain. The more beautiful the beloved, the prouder they will be to show her off to their friends. If men love more it is because they are thrilled by the prospect of using a woman as a mirror to their own greatness.

Steven: So men do love more, even if it is out of vanity - so I win the argument!

Julia (very angry): That isn't the point, Steven.

Steven: Oh, I thought it was. Well, anyway, what shall we talk about next?

Julia: Something safer, I think.

Steven: How about the weather?

Julia: The weather is anything but safe. Since the trees were destroyed, we've had nothing but dust storms and burning heat.

Steven: Yes, I'm sorry, I forgot about the meadow.

Julia: No need, it isn't your fault. Let's change the subject.

Steven: Well, Princess, answer me this. Is it better to fall two hundred feet to your death or to be slowly tortured in a dark dungeon?

Julia: Neither prospect sounds very enticing. Why do you ask?

Steven: That was exactly the dilemma I was faced with during the siege of Acre.

Julia: I sense an adventure about to unfold.

Steven: A small one, perhaps.

Julia: Well start from the beginning and tell it properly. Remember, it must be truthful and exciting, otherwise the ultimate penalty.

Steven: Three days of seeing you makes three days of not seeing you seem like an eternity.

Julia: Charmingly put. Please continue.

Steven: With the story or the compliments?

Julia: The story, of course.

Steven: Very well. King Richard and his army were laying siege to Acre on the way to Jerusalem and we were confronted with a dangerous problem. Many of our supplies of food had turned rancid and the local people had burned the fields and taken their livestock into the city.

Julia: So you either had to attack or starve.

Steven: Exactly. Now by a great piece of good fortune, we had in our army two Turks who knew the city intimately. One of them revealed to King Richard that there was a secret passage which led right up into the city behind the fortifications. He was not sure where the passage ended nor could he say whether its existence was known to the Sultan. Since this passageway might be of great advantage to us in storming Acre, King Richard decided to send one of his men into the tunnel to see what he could discover.

Julia: That must have been very dangerous.

Steven: Indeed it was. The man had to be chosen very carefully, any mistakes could be fatal to our cause. Now, King Richard was aware that I was one of the last remaining Knights of St George.

Julia: Which meant what?

Steven: We are a secret brotherhood of knights. We pride ourselves both on skill at arms and stealth in movement. This allows us to travel silently towards an enemy in near total darkness. Originally, of course, such stealth was vital when creeping up on a dragon as it slept on its piles of treasure. Lately, though, such pursuits have fallen out of fashion. Most knights content themselves with clanking armor and flashing blades. They claim that silent walking in unmanly. Fortunately for our cause, King Richard knew the value of surprise, so he chose me to find out what I could.

Julia (concerned): Weren't you afraid?

Steven: I was a little. Being alone I had no hope of fighting my way out if I was discovered. It was agreed that if I did not return, our army would give up the passageway as lost and make a frontal assault on the city.

Julia (very interested): So what happened?

Steven: The chosen hour came, and I entered the tunnel. I'll spare you the details of the rotting skeletons and man-eating rats.

Julia: Thank you.

Steven: After picking my way along the murky pathway I came to a large stone door which opened silently to my touch. I peered round it and saw that I was in a lavish courtyard containing an ornamental garden. In the garden were fig trees and flowers, and sparkling fountains of fresh water. The trees cast leafy shadows on the ground and in this oasis of silence I saw silken couches fit for a king. I realized to my horror that I had stumbled into the harem of the Sultan of Acre.

Julia: How did you know?

Steven: Well, on one of the couches was a very beautiful woman. She couldn't have been more than twenty - and she had lost herself in a luxurious slumber. She smiled as she slept and it was as if the garden she dreamt of was even lovelier than the one in which she lay.

Julia: So you very sensibly turned round and went straight back to King Richard.

Steven: I should have, I know, but I couldn't help myself. I walked a little closer. Enraptured by her restful breathing I became clumsy, made a noise and woke her. Now I knew that any man found in the harem would suffer a terrible death - and this would be doubly so for a Christian spy - so I fell to my knees in terror. She was about to cry out when, in a moment of tender panic, I looked into her eyes and kissed her hand.

(Steven does this to Julia as if acting out the part.)

Now to my great good fortune, she had never seen a man with blue eyes before. All she had been taught since childhood was that we Christians were ugly monsters who raped and pillaged and murdered with no mercy. But here was a man on his knees kissing her hand, and then her other hand - indeed showing her gentleness and tender affections which the aged Sultan had long since abandoned in his arrogance. (He kisses Julia's hands and arms profusely.)

Julia (slightly pulling away): You're a very ardent storyteller.

Steven: I was just trying to bring the story to life.

Julia: Well, being too vivid can spoil the effect.

Steven: As you wish. (He releases her hands.)

Julia: So what did you do next?

Steven: Seeing that she wasn't going to give me away, I gradually rose to my feet. I was about to hazard a real kiss when we heard guards approaching. She took my hand and led me to a great urn into which I slipped as she placed the lid over my head. The guards came on their inspection, but did not discover me. I then had to wait some time for my new lover to return.

Julia: You do fall in love quickly.

Steven: Under the circumstances, it seemed like the sensible thing to do. To my great surprise, when my protector returned, she brought all the other ladies of the court with her. They gasped to see my strange appearance and stared at me with frightened eyes. Some of them giggled and then one of them came forward. To my great relief she was a Byzantine woman who had been taken prisoner. She even spoke a little English.

Julia: Was she pretty?

Steven: They all were really, although this was in a time before I met you.

Julia: Stop it you rogue. On with the tale.

Steven: She asked me what I was doing in the harem. I answered that I was on a secret mission for King Richard. I explained that I intended them no harm and it was only beauty which had uncovered my plan, otherwise I could have crept away unnoticed. I said I had come to steal away their secrets, but instead the young girl had stolen away my heart.

Julia: Which they believed of course.

Steven: I'm not sure, but the lady in question laughed very prettily and told me that her name was Jasmine. I said "Jasmine" many times, and most wistfully, which seemed to have the desired effect. Then I asked very politely whether I could leave. I said it would be punishment enough never to see Jasmine again.

Julia: To give up your new lover so soon. Really Steven, this isn't a story to charm a woman's heart.

Steven: Well, at the back of my mind, I couldn't help remembering the horrible tortures I was risking.

Julia: I see.

Steven: Anyway, the ladies held a conference. The Byzantine woman explained to me that the women had great sympathy for my plight. In many ways they were prisoners themselves. On the other hand, they were loyal to their master and could not let a spy escape to help the king of their enemies. My heart sank, and I was torn between trying to climb down the city walls or killing as many guards as I could before I was taken.

Julia: Your terrible dilemma.

Steven: Just so. However, the Byzantine woman continued. As long as I was not free to return, it seemed to the women that I would serve just as well trapped in the harem as in a dungeon.

Julia: I think I can see where this is going.

Steven: Perhaps. Well Jasmine was the youngest of the women, and had come to the harem when she was still a child. She had never known true love - merely the fumblings of an old man - and she had rather taken a fancy to me. The ladies were prepared to hide me and feed me well so long as Jasmine's ardor flourished.

Julia (sarcastically): Oh poor prisoner.

Steven: Indeed, but I adjusted. Jasmine was the sweetest girl I ever knew. She was generous, kind and playful - and she spoke no English whatsoever, so we never had any arguments.

Julia: How long did this go on for?

Steven: My sweet incarceration lasted for six days. Alas, after that, tragedy struck.

Julia: What happened?

Steven: King Richard, despairing of my life, launched a frontal attack on the city. One morning I awoke as knights poured in through a breach in the walls and found me in the arms of my beloved.

Julia: I would have strung you up to the nearest tree.

Steven: In fact, they were quite understanding. They took me to King Richard who welcomed me as if returning from the dead. In gratitude for my safety in the harem, I placed all the ladies of the court under my personal protection. I'm glad to say that this prevented any of those appalling atrocities so common in a conquering army.

Julia: And what happened to Jasmine?

Steven: When the siege was over, she pleaded with me to stay, but my first loyalty was to the king. I like to think that she helped to protect the Christian women when the city was retaken, two years later, by the Saracens.

Julia: Is that it? Your great story.

Steven: Wasn't it exciting? Danger and adventure mixed with beauty and charm.

Julia: But how truthful was it?

Steven (as if found out): Ah.

Julia: You would have been thrown to the wolves in five minutes. Knights of St. George indeed. I heard you coming from over two miles away.

Steven: So you didn't like it?

Julia: Exciting and truthful were my requirements, on pain of three days banishment. What have you to say in your defense before I pass sentence?

Steven: How long do I have?

Julia: Take as long as you like.

Steven: Well firstly, I have been a knight since I was eighteen, and a squire before that. My life has consisted of war or preparation for war, for almost as long as I can remember.

Julia (sarcastically): Which left you with no adventures to speak of.

Steven: As you know, war is mostly dust and waiting, with brief moments of terror in between. I don't enjoy killing, and I would never brag about it simply to entertain a lady.

Julia: I'm sorry. You're right of course.

Steven: Secondly, tales of romance are much more enchanting that tales of valor.

Julia: Quite true.

Steven: And thirdly, much as it breaks my heart to think about it, I have to leave tomorrow.

Julia: I thought you said we had a week together!

Steven: I said King Richard gave me a week, but it's a long journey to Malta.

Julia: That isn't fair!

Steven: Why not?

Julia: You've done most of the talking.

Steven: But Princess, one of your sentences is worth ten of my lengthy speeches.

Julia: A cunning answer.

Steven: And tomorrow shall be dedicated to you.

Julia (jealously): And the day after will be filled with Jasmine or whoever the next one is who comes along.

Steven: If Jasmine tries to enter my dreams she will find them filled with thoughts of you.

Julia: Go to bed Steven. I've had enough of this.

Steven: Forgive my silly stories. I was just trying to make you smile.

Julia: Don't worry, you did.

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