Julia: Steven, wake up! The Sultan's gua...

Julia: Steven, wake up! The Sultan's guards are coming!

Steven: What? Oh, it's you.

Julia: Yes. Now do get up. Today is dedicated to me if you remember.

Steven: Of course. I hang on your every word.

Julia: I've been thinking about that, and I've decided to ask you some questions for a change.

Steven: Whatever you like.

Julia: Well firstly, did you really have a cousin called Isabella?

Steven: She wasn't exactly my cousin, but I was in love with her, and so was my older brother. He was the one who kissed her, whilst I had to go off and find the flowers. He was bigger than I was and a terrible bully. That was why I decided to become a great warrior, so I could get my own kisses. Of course life never quite works out the way we plan.

Julia: Such a tale would break my heart, if it were true, but the answer is satisfactory.

Julia: And what about Jasmine?

Steven: Every word was true except . . .

Julia: Except?

Steven: Except for the rats. I made that bit up to make it more exciting, as you requested.

Julia: Well my third question is most unselfish - and since today is dedicated to me, you must answer it honestly.

Steven: As if I would do anything else.

Julia: Won't it be more dangerous for you to travel if you set out from here later in the day? You could be set upon in the dark and killed.

Steven: The danger is slight. I am a knight at arms, after all, and if they capture me, I could always talk them to death.

Julia: Or talk them to life as you have with me.

Steven: When you speak with your heart, my words seem feeble in comparison.

Julia (reprovingly): What a shame then, that a woman's love is a poor tarnished weakly thing compared to a man's.

Steven: Oh not that again! I wish that I'd never brought it up. Both love equally, at different times in different ways. I didn't mean to upset you.

Julia: You didn't, and I shouldn't harp on it, but I do have another question. Don't answer if you don't want to.

Steven: I shall try, of course.

Julia: My question is this. If you hate fighting so much - and love life - why do you go on crusades? You know that they gain little and bring about great suffering.

Steven: I fight not for the cross, but for Richard. He is a brave and just man who would be a great ruler if he only stayed at home. His brother John, on the other hand, is a greedy tyrant who ravages the land when Richard is away. I believe that if John ever became king, he would drive my countrymen to the point of rebellion.

Julia: So you fight to protect Richard?

Steven: If I can. I am his shield in battle and the bane of his assassins. I check his food and taste his wine. He is also my friend, and I would give my life to save him.

Julia: Well, try to save both lives, if you can.

Steven: Of course, life has many joys for me.

Julia: I have a last question for you.

Steven: Very well.

Julia: Since your first day here you haven't asked me for treasure to help your crusade. Why not?

Steven: Once I got to know you, it didn't seem polite.

Julia: A rather evasive answer.

Steven: A sense of mystery is part of my charm.

Julia: Maybe your charm is a mystery.

Steven (insulted): Thanks very much.

Julia: But you do leave me deeply mystified.

Steven: If things were different, I wouldn't leave you at all - but time is passing, so I must ask two questions of my own.

Julia: Very well. What is the first?

Steven: This is very embarrassing.

Julia: Never mind. I promise not to laugh.

Steven: In that case, no I really shouldn't.

Julia: Come on!

Steven: If I must - How do I get out of the castle?

Julia: I thought you might ask that. I don't know if you realized it, but we've been circling the walls never getting any closer to the center. The angles make it rather confusing. (rather bitterly) It's all part of the brilliance of our defenses.

Steven: I see.

Julia: If you go through that gate and turn left you should find your piece of blue ribbon.

Steven: Thank you.

Julia: And the second question?

Steven: Tell me Princess, which are more beautiful, the tears of laughter or the tears of farewell?

Julia: The tears of farewell since they carry distilled within them all the laughter and tenderness of our friendship. (She starts to cry.) I didn't mean to cry. I promised myself that I wouldn't.

Steven: So did I.

Julia: You should go now. Dusk will come all too soon.

Steven: Goodbye then. Try to be happy.

Julia: Take care, Steven.

Steven: I will.

For licensing inquiries, please see Doctor Gavin