Scene Overview

Show
The Undertakers Club
Show Type
Play
Age Guidance
Youth (Y)/General Audiences (G)
Characters
Rowan Wilkinson Bobby Lazar
Genders
  • Female: 0
  • Male: 2
Style
Dramatic
Length
Short
Time Period
Contemporary
Time/Place
The Present Day, an American High School
Act/Scene
Act 1

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Context

The club conducts one of its mock funerals.

Text

ROWAN: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

BOBBY: May the Lord be with you . . .

ROWAN: And with your spirit.

BOBBY: Dearly beloved, we are gather here today to pay our last respects to Newton B. Minnow, beloved son and brother, devoted husband and father, friend to many.

ROWAN: We take the measure of a man not by the things he acquires, but by the lives he touches, and by this measure, Newton Minnow was quite a man.

BOBBY: A man for all seasons, who in the autumn of his years, fell from the tree of life like a ripe crabapple.

ROWAN: (to BOBBY) That last line was a bit overripe itself.

BOBBY: I was distracted.

ROWAN: Carry on, man.

BOBBY: How can I carry on when I don’t have a quality corpse to work with?

Links

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