JACK Very interesting concept, Samantha....

JACK Very interesting concept, Samantha. Lovely feminine designs.

SAMANTHA Thank you.

JACK (holds up bottle of wine) Sure you don’t want a little?

SAMANTHA Thank you. But, as I said, it makes me sleepy. I don’t mind it in the evening, though.

JACK Funny. It has the opposite effect on me. (winks; points to designs on table) We can talk more about these later. Tell me a little about yourself. You’ve been working at the company for a few years now, and I just realized I hardly know anything about you.

SAMANTHA Oh, there’s not much to say. I’m just a hard-working single girl in Manhattan.

JACK I bet you’ve got men falling all over themselves to date you.

SAMANTHA Not really. I haven’t been that interested in dating for a while.

JACK Oh, why is that?

SAMANTHA I’ve just been too busy. But I’m reconsidering. Maybe I’ll put up a profile on Match. I have a friend who says it’s a nice way to meet new people.

JACK Oh. Well, good. As you know, I’m single, too. Divorced, over ten years ago. A training wheel marriage. You know, youthful physical attraction, not a lot else in common. Two great kids from it. Love them like crazy. But my ex and I know it’s best we went our separate ways.

SAMANTHA I’m not sure marriage is right for you. You seem to like dating a lot of different women.

JACK Love ‘em. Dedicated my whole life to making them look irresistible.

SAMANTHA Oh, sure. All business. You’re such a playboy.

JACK What can I say, I love, love, love women. Can you hold that against a guy?

SAMANTHA It depends on how you love them.

JACK Oh, I’m the greatest. Been told that many, many times.

SAMANTHA In what way, Jack?

JACK Well, what other ways are there?

SAMANTHA Lots of men are like that. They’re like children, who grew up thinking their role is to be a so-called make-out artist. They still measure their value by how many women they can seduce. I’m looking for a man who knows a woman is a whole person, with real needs, just like him. Not just a one-dimensional doll who can only say, “Gee, thanks. That was great!”

JACK Interesting. Well, if I met a woman like that, I’d appreciate her.

SAMANTHA Oh, I don’t think you’re looking for that kind of woman.

JACK Yes, I am. In fact, desperately. That’s why I go through so many of them. I need a woman I can really connect with on lots of levels. A real soul mate.

SAMANTHA I’ll believe it when I see it.

JACK Well, I’m not sure that’s fair. I mean, how can I prove it when I can’t find the kind of woman I’m looking for?

SAMANTHA Maybe you should look more slowly. Give the women you meet a break, so they have a chance to demonstrate they’re more than a sexual triumph.

JACK Maybe you can help me.

SAMANTHA In what way?

JACK Well, if you were the kind of complete woman I’m looking for, maybe you could help me change. What do you say? I need help. Save me!

SAMANTHA Oh, you’re hopeless.

JACK No, I’m not. I promise. I can be saved! But only you can do it.

SAMANTHA I don’t think it’s wise to date someone at the same place where you work. If things don’t work out, there they are. In this case, there’s my boss. And, instead of a possible promotion, I’m out the door.

JACK Oh, I suppose that kind of thinking is good for people way down the line. But two people like us, at the top -- I mean, think of great husband and wife teams who run companies.

SAMANTHA Whoa! Kind of jumping ahead, aren’t we?

JACK Oh, I don’t know. My gut tells me when something’s right, it takes off like a rocket.

SAMANTHA Some rocket. You’ve known me for over five years now and this is the first time you’ve ever paid any attention to me outside of work.

JACK I never saw the real you before. I must have had blinders on. You are gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous! As a matter of fact, you make all of our models we work with look, well, fairly ordinary. And I already know how smart you are. The question is, are also kind enough to rescue me?

SAMANTHA I’ve been kind, and I found that it was misinterpreted. Sometimes, my kindness has been mistaken for something else, and I’ve been taken advantage of.

JACK Really? Sorry to hear that. Well, I promise you. I’ll be a different person. My long voyage can be over and I can finally arrive in the beautiful port of your arms.

SAMANTHA You are such a character, Jack. How many times have you said that to a woman?

JACK Never before, I promise. Help me! Save me! Be my last first date.

SAMANTHA Let’s see how you behave and then we’ll decide.

JACK Does that mean we can date?

SAMANTHA That means you’re on probation. If you behave, I might consider some social activity with you.

JACK How long do I have to prove myself?

SAMANTHA That depends on how well you do. Remember, I’m a whole person, just like you. I have just as many different needs as you do.

JACK I’ll never forget.

SAMANTHA We’ll see.

Tom Attea. Samantha and the Glass Ceiling. pp.49-53.

For performance and licensing information, please visit Tom Attea