Overview
- Female: 3
- Male: 3
Context
This scene is our first introduction to the dynamics of how the gods and goddesses interact on Mount Olympus. Calliope, muse of epic poetry, has just brought Jason to Olympus, believing him to be their next bard. The others remain fairly skeptical (except Aphrodite, who remains a tad vague). A debate ensues about how they will go about discovering whether Jason is bard material. Unbeknownst to the audience at this point, the gods of Olympus have been disappearing one=by-one as they are
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APHRODITE Aw… our new bard is so adorable! Aren’t you, new bard?
ATHENA He’s not our new bard yet.
CALLIOPE Athena…
ATHENA (to JASON) I have a list of questions to ask you, Jason.
JASON (getting very nervous) Uh… OK.
CALLIOPE This is so unnecessary!
ATHENA I think we’re entitled to a complete background check, Zeus. Especially after the last few bard candidates Calliope brought here…
CALLIOPE Hey! They weren’t all bad!
(ZEUS breaks out into laughter.)
ZEUS My favorite… was the gorilla!
(ZEUS slaps HERMES on his back. HERMES follows suit and laughs)
HERMES Oh yeah! The gorilla!
ZEUS He was like… Ooh-ooh-ooh! Ah-ah-ah-haha!!! (on the verge of tears) A gorilla – our next bard!
CALLIOPE That gorilla knew over 600 different signs! And he had the soul of a bard!
(ATHENA groans)
JASON Hey, that’s what you said I had.
ATHENA (to ZEUS) Again, instead of judging by skill, she’s led astray by this “soul of a bard” nonsense!
CALLIOPE It is not nonsense!
ATHENA (ignores CALLIOPE, to ZEUS) Need I remind you that we are short on time? May I please ask Jason my questions?
ZEUS Aphrodite, what do you think?
APHRODITE I miss the gorilla…
ZEUS (to ATHENA) Proceed.
ATHENA How old are you, Jason?
JASON Twelve.
ATHENA And how many stories do you know?
JASON I know lots! I love stories of all kinds, but my favorite –
ATHENA In exact number?
JASON I dunno… Maybe like a hundred?
ATHENA And how many are tales of Olympus?
JASON Zero.
HERMES Ready to fly back, kid?
CALLIOPE Wait! Wait! Now, I admit that the gorilla and the silent monk were mistakes…
ATHENA Among others…
CALLIOPE But I’ve seen Jason telling stories in his bedroom, and he’s good! I’m talking like Homer good!
(The GODS strike a reverent pose at the mention of Homer)
JASON Who?
HERMES Homer: our first bard.
CALLIOPE Jason just doesn’t know any of our stories because we aren’t famous like we used to be! What if we started by sharing some of our favorite Greek myths with him?
ZEUS Like a story sampler platter.
CALLIOPE Exactly! Then, after some coaching from yours truly, we give him a chance to tell a tale of Olympus!
ATHENA If you’re wrong about him, we’ll have wasted more time…
CALLIOPE And if I’m right about him, then we should spend all the time we have getting Jason prepared!
ATHENA (sees ZEUS thinking about it) Zeus, no…
ZEUS Athena, stop being such a killjoy! Maybe Calliope’s finally got it right this time!
HERMES Good thinking, Zeus!
(CALLIOPE gives HERMES a look.)
APHRODITE Olympus could do with some cheerful storytelling!
ZEUS Mind if we put on a little show for you, mortal?
JASON Are you kidding? That’d be awesome!
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