CHRISTOPHER Surprise!

TINA Oh God.

CHRISTOPHER ENTERS, soaked, carrying a small suitcase.

TINA(cont'd) Did you follow us?

CHRISTOPHER I just went home to grab my suitcase.

TINA Well. Uh... this in’t really a good -

CHRISTOPHER Where’s Matty?

TINA He’s in the kitchen trying to cut his junk off with a chef’s knife.

CHRISTOPHER What a waste... Performance art or is he just exceptionally bad at cooking? (calls to Matthew) Matty! Put the spaghetti and meatballs away, your secret lover is here!

Matthew comes in from the kitchen

MATTHEW (off the suitcase) Going somewhere?

CHRISTOPHER Quite the opposite.

MATTHEW Wait...

CHRISTOPHER Tina, Matthew - I left him.

TINA Oh, Honey...

MATTHEW You left... um... A pause.

CHRISTOPHER Yes, I left Um. I’m thrilled that after two years you don’t