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Here Alex tries and fails to have a coherent conversation with Johnny Neptune, the unconventional former god of the sea.
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ALEX. Are you sure you’re alright, Mr. Neptune?
NEPTUNE. I appreciate your concern, little kahuna, but I’m actually doing fine.
ALEX. Both of your brothers were killed within twenty-four hours of each other, and they haven’t caught the murderer. That doesn’t concern you?
NEPTUNE. Like water off an otter, mi amigo. You have to take the waves as they come.
ALEX. I suppose if I could summon a typhoon I would be pretty confident, too. Actually, Mr. Neptune, I know this isn’t the best time, but as an avid fan I have to know. You are the greatest surfer of all time… But did you use your “god of the sea” powers to manipulate the waves? Because I feel like that would be cheating.
NEPTUNE. My god power doesn’t work like that, kimosabe. (Tugging his shell necklace) My necklace allows me to groove on the waves of time and chance and fortune, you dig? (Expansively) I see every outcome laid out before me, and I surf on the tides of destiny itself.
ALEX. (Impressed) Wow. That’s incredible.
NEPTUNE. Yeah. Also, I can control the ocean with my mind, so I manipulated the waves.
ALEX. Okay, so like, yes, you cheated.
NEPTUNE. Right on. I’m going to go hunt down some more shrimp cocktails. Later, skater!
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