DINAH: Darling, you haven't kissed me ye...

DINAH: Darling, you haven't kissed me yet.

BRIAN: Oh, I say. I oughtn't to, but then one never ought to do the nice things . DINAH: Why oughtn't you?

BRIAN: Well, we said we'd be good until we'd told your uncle and aunt all about it. You see, being a guest in their house–

DINAH: But, darling child, what have you been doing all this morning except telling George?

BRIAN: Oh, trying to tell George.

DINAH: Yes, of course, there's a difference.

BRIAN: I think he guessed there was something up, and he took me down to see the pigs–he said he had to see the pigs at once–I don't know why; an appointment perhaps. And we talked about pigs all the way, and I couldn't say, "Talking about pigs, I want to marry your niece–"

DINAH: Oh, of course you couldn't.

BRIAN: No. Well, you see how it was. And then when we'd finished talking about pigs, we started talking to the pigs–

DINAH: Oh, how is Arnold?

BRIAN: Arnold...? Oh yes, that's the little black-and-white one? He's very jolly, I believe, but naturally I wasn't thinking about him much. I was wondering how to begin. And then Lumsden came up, and wanted to talk pig-food, and the atmosphere grew less and less romantic, and–and I gradually drifted away.

DINAH: Oh, poor darling! Well, we shall have to approach him through Olivia.

BRIAN: But I always wanted to tell her first; she's so much easier. Only you wouldn't let me.

DINAH: That's your fault, Brian. You would tell Olivia that she ought to have orange-and-black curtains in here.

BRIAN: But she wants orange and black curtains in here.

DINAH: Yes. But George says he's not going to have any Futuristic nonsense in an honest English country house, which has been good enough for his father and his grandfather and his great-grandfather, and–and all the rest of them. So there's a sort of strained feeling between Olivia and George just now, and if Olivia were to–sort of recommend you, well, it wouldn't do you much good.

BRIAN: I see. Of course I know what you want, Dinah.

DINAH: What do I want?

BRIAN: You want a secret engagement–

DINAH: Oh!

BRIAN: And notes left under door-mats–

DINAH: Oh!

BRIAN: And meetings by the withered thorn–

DINAH: Oh!

BRIAN: When all the household is asleep.

DINAH: Oh!

BRIAN: I know you.

DINAH: Oh, but it is such fun! I love meeting people by withered thorns.

BRIAN: Well, I'm not going to have it.

DINAH: Oh, George! Look at us being husbandy!

BRIAN: You babe! I adore you. You know, you're rather throwing yourself away on me. Do you mind?

DINAH: Not a bit.

BRIAN: We shall never be rich, but we shall have lots of fun, and meet interesting people, and feel that we're doing something worth doing, and not getting paid nearly enough for it, and we can curse the Academy together and the British Public, and–oh, it's an exciting life.

DINAH: I shall love it.

BRIAN: I'll make you love it. You shan't be sorry, Dinah.

DINAH: You shan't be sorry either, Brian.

BRIAN: Oh, I know I shan't.... What will Olivia think about it? Will she be surprised?

DINAH: Olivia? Oh, she's never surprised. She always seems to have thought of things about half an hour before they happen. George just begins to get hold of them about half an hour after they've happened. (Considering him, stroking his hair.) After all, there's no reason why George shouldn't like you, darling.

BRIAN: I'm not his sort, you know, really.

DINAH: You're more Olivia's sort. Well, we'll tell Olivia this morning.

Citation: A.A. Milne, Mr. Pim Passes By, Public domain, 2015.

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