MRS. PRINGLE: What's the matter -- Elain...

MRS. PRINGLE: What's the matter -- Elaine -- what is –

ELAINE: Now I've done it! I've just done it -- but I couldn't get out of it -- I just couldn't -- you weren't here -- I always lose my head and bungle things–

MRS. PRINGLE: But what -- don't keep us waiting like this -- what is it?

ELAINE: I invited Ella and the family and she accepted and then she said they had two house-guests -- and would it be all right and of course I said it would and now we're -- sixteen!

DUNHAM: Sixteen! But, madam, the table's not that long!

MRS. PRINGLE: Elaine! That's just like you -- no tact -- no worldly wisdom -- if I'd been at the phone I'd have politely said that my table--

ELAINE: But you weren't at the phone -- you ought to attend to such messages yourself -- you know I always lose my head -- DUNHAM: But the dishes, madam -- and we only have fourteen squabs--

ELAINE: I won't eat any--

MRS. PRINGLE: But I must not be disgraced -- we'll have to make the best of it -- and insert another board --

ELAINE: But mother, I needn't sit at the table.

MRS. PRINGLE: You're going to sit right next to Oliver Farnsworth! Now I don't wish to hear another word about it.

ELAINE: But can't we squeeze them in without all the work of adding another board? If I move the plates and chairs closer--

MRS. PRINGLE: Have you forgotten that Mr. Tupper weighs something like two hundred and fifty pounds? And Mrs. Conley has no waist line? It can't be done!--

DUNHAM: Cook is in a rage, madam -- she says she has only prepared for fourteen.

MRS. PRINGLE: I can't help it -- she'll have to prepare for sixteen. Tell her to open cans of soup and vegetables and--

DUNHAM: But the ice-cream forms and the gelatine molds--

ELAINE: I'll pretend I don't like them.

MRS. PRINGLE: And I'll pretend I'm on a diet--

ELAINE: But I really wouldn't have to be at the table.

MRS. PRINGLE: Be still! (The telephone rings) The telephone! Now what? Don't answer it! It's driving me mad– (She goes herself) Hello -- yes -- This is Mrs. Pringle -- Oh! yes -- Jessica! -- what! -- the blizzard -- your cold -- too dangerous! Oh! Jessica -- you poor dear --yes, your husband's right, it would be foolhardy -- put on a mustard plaster -- hot toddy -- go to bed -- so sorry! (She hangs up the receiver) There -- that's wonderful -- now we are just fourteen--

ELAINE: But the cards are all wrong. Only six are coming who were invited originally. You'll have to make another diagram. How do you want them seated?

MRS. PRINGLE: Give it to me. (She remains at the telephone table where there is a pad and a pencil and makes a new diagram)

ELAINE: Here are some fresh cards. (She tears up the old cards, then goes back to help DUNHAM, who is having a maddening time with the table)

MRS. PRINGLE: What a mess! I spent hours over that diagram! So much depends upon having guests seated harmoniously! There's the front door-bell, Dunham -- I told Annie to answer it for you -- but go, peek into the drawing-room and tell me who it is-- (As DUNHAM goes out, the telephone rings. MRS. PRINGLE eyes it suspiciously) You murderous instrument! What have you to say? Now what? Hello! Who! Mr. Farnsworth! Mr. Oliver Farnsworth? No--you're his secretary? He's what? Instructed you to make his excuses! He had to leave for Boston at once on very important business -- Oh! (She hangs up the receiver without completing the conversation and hits the telephone in a temper, then rises and paces back and forth in a rage) How dare he! How dare he! The last moment like this! No regard for a hostess's feelings! No regard for the efforts she goes to to provide an evening's enjoyment! And such a good dinner I planned -- and he promised he would come -- business! I don't believe it! He didn't want to exert himself -- was afraid of freezing in the blizzard -- as if he didn't have half a dozen limousines to carry him to the door -- selfishness -- downright rudeness -- and worth millions -- just a match for you, Elaine -- and I was bound you should meet him and sit next to him at the table, and now I don't know when I can give you a chance like that again! I'm perfectly furious -- I'll never speak to him again! I won't be treated that way--

ELAINE: (Timidly) Perhaps he really did have business and was called away--

MRS. PRINGLE: (Not hearing her) And I one of the most important hostesses in this city -- people clamoring to receive my invitations -- all my affairs are a success. I insist that they shall be -- I can't bear a failure -- I won't have a failure -- he was my most important guest -- he's such a man's man -- so important financially -- every other man considers it an honor to meet him -- and now not coming! I'm furious! Furious! --it's all this damnable blizzard!

ELAINE: Now I will have to stay away from the table. His not coming makes us thirteen again.

MRS. PRINGLE: (In a temper) Go to bed -- go up to the nursery! I'll send you milk and crackers!

Alice Gerstenberg, Fourteen, Public domain, 1919.

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