Overview
- Female: 1
- Male: 1
Context
In the opening scene of the play, Cis Farringdon sneaks away from dinner into the drawing room of the Posket home, bringing Beatie an apple and cobnuts as tokens of his affection. The class differences between the two are clear, but Cis has no regard for propriety, and this scene establishes the playful and comedic nature of most of the relationships within the play.
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Cis. Beatie!
Beatie. Cis dear! Dinner isn’t over, surely?
Cis. Not quite. I had one of my convenient headaches and cleared out. [Taking an apple and some cobnuts from his pocket and giving them to Beatie.] These are for you, dear, with my love. I sneaked ’em off the sideboard as I came out.
Beatie. Oh, I mustn’t take them!
Cis. Yes, you may—it’s my share of dessert. Besides, it’s a horrid shame you don’t grub with us.
Beatie. What, a poor little music mistress!
Cis. Yes. They’re only going to give you four guineas a quarter. Fancy getting a girl like you for four guineas a quarter—why, an eighth of you is worth more than that! Now peg away at your apple. [Produces a cigarette.]
Beatie. There’s company at dinner, isn’t there? [Munching her apple.]
Cis. Well, hardly. Aunt Charlotte hasn’t arrived yet, so there’s only old Bullamy.
Beatie. Isn’t old Bullamy anybody?
Cis. Old Bullamy—well, he’s only like the guv’nor, a police magistrate at the Mulberry Street Police Court.
Beatie. Oh, does each police court have two magistrates?
Cis. [Proudly.] All the best have two.
Beatie. Don’t they quarrel over getting the interesting cases? I should.
Cis. I don’t know how they manage—perhaps they toss up who’s to hear the big sensations. There’s a Mrs. Beldam, who is rather a bore sometimes; I know the Guv always lets old Bullamy attend to her. But, as a rule, I fancy they go half and half, in a friendly way. [Lighting cigarette.] For instance, if the guv’nor wants to go to the Derby he lets old Bullamy have the Oaks—and so on, see? [He sits on the floor, comfortably reclining against Beatie, and puffing his cigarette.]
Beatie. Oh, I say, Cis, won’t your mamma be angry when she finds I haven’t gone home?
Cis. Oh, put it on to your pupil. Say I’m very backward.
Beatie. I think you are extremely forward—in some ways. [Biting the apple and speaking with her mouth full.] I do wish I could get you to concentrate your attention on your music lessons. But I wouldn’t get you into a scrape!
Cis. No fear of that. Ma is too proud of me.
Beatie. But there’s your step-father.
Cis. The dear old guv’nor! Why, he is too good-natured to say “Bo!” to a goose. You know, Beatie, I was at a school at Brighton when ma got married—when she got married the second time, I mean—and the guv’nor and I didn’t make each other’s acquaintance till after the honeymoon.
Beatie. Oh, fancy your step-father blindly accepting such a responsibility. [Gives him a cobnut to crack for her.]
Cis. Yes, wasn’t the guv’nor soft! I might have been a very indifferent sort of young fellow for all he knew. [Having cracked the nut with his teeth, he returns it to her.]
Beatie. Thank you, dear.
Cis. Well, when I heard the new dad was a police magistrate, I was scared. Said I to myself, “If I don’t mind my P’s and Q’s, the guv’nor—from force of habit—will fine me all my pocket-money.” But it’s quite the reverse—he’s the mildest, meekest——[The door opens suddenly.] Look out! Some one coming!
Pinero, Arthur Wing. The Magistrate. http://www.gutenberg.org/files/41750/41750-h/41750-h.htm
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