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The West Wing

Janet The world is laughing at us right...

Overview

Show Type
Play
Age Guidance
Thirteen Plus (PG-13)
Characters
Genders
  • Female: 2
  • Male: 0
Playing Age
Adult
Style
Comedic
Length
Short
Time Period
Contemporary
Time/Place
An empty room in the White House, America, present day
Act/Scene
Act 1

Context

Text

Janet The world is laughing at us right now. And they’re right.

Linda Our allies are behind us.

Janet You think Germany is going to put up with this? Canada’s having a good laugh.

Linda What about London? They love pigeons. You should have seen the swarm of people and other pigeons he attracted.

Janet It was Trafalgar Square! That’s what they do! The President shouldn’t be fed breadcrumbs from tourists. The President has to be seen as a real leader.

Linda He also has to be well liked.

Janet Well, he is a delicacy in some countries.

Linda That’s disgusting.

Linda moves past Janet to retrieve her laptop. She heads towards the door, when…

Janet He has to pardon a turkey!

Linda turns.

Linda Excuse me?!

Janet There are things Presidents do. He has to pardon a turkey at Thanksgiving.

Linda He has to what?

Janet He has to pardon a turkey. What if he pardoned ALL the turkeys?!

Linda What would be so wrong about that?

Janet It’s un-American. America is not just a political system. We’re a culture. And being an American means being able to eat turkey at Thanksgiving.

Linda It also means growing up to believe that anyone can be President.

Janet I’m not sure this is what they meant.

Linda I think it is. By definition.

Janet What about the Easter egg roll?! He would sit on the eggs. He has to throw out the first pitch at the World Series! What would that look like?!

Janet mimes throwing a pitch as a pigeon.

Linda Janet.

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