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PEN: I’m his _mother_. NEIL: He’s a...

Overview

Show
Show Type
Play
Age Guidance
Thirteen Plus (PG-13)
Characters
Genders
  • Female: 1
  • Male: 1
Playing Age
Adult
Style
Dramatic
Length
Medium
Time Period
Contemporary
Time/Place
Time unspecified, Suburban kitchen
Act/Scene
Act 1

Context

Text

PEN: I’m his mother.
NEIL: He’s a dog.
PEN: He’ll go crazier for you with me gone. I’m the one who feeds him, walks him, brushes him, talks to him, plays with him...
NEIL: He’s a dog.
PEN: Stop saying that! If you think that so hard, maybe you should just leave him with me. Maybe you should get a f#&king fish.
NEIL: What?!
PEN: A fish, Neil. You can feed it and then leave for a few days. Or just stick it in the fridge. It’ll suit you.
NEIL: He’s MY dog.
PEN: But I’m the one that takes care of him!
NEIL: When I can’t. Yes.
PEN: When he’s a burden for you.
NEIL: Excuse me?!
PEN: You left him here with me.
NEIL: He’s still my dog. You don’t think I wanted to stay home with you and him? You knew the deal when I left. If I just stayed there a year, I would make enough that I wouldn’t have to go anymore. We could afford a better apartment. We could go to Morocco. I remember. It was a “wicked” good idea.
PEN: Just don’t blame me for the fact that I am close to him because you weren’t around.

(NEIL hits the frame of the door with his fist.)

NEIL: I can’t do this. Most of my stuff has been at Bill’s since Wednesday and you never said a word.
PEN: I was lonely!
NEIL: So was I. And I was living in a hotel room in Ashtabula. And got cards from a dog. Every week.
PEN: You laughed--
NEIL: Because I thought it was funny. The first time! I just didn’t think I would stop hearing from you altogether.
PEN: That didn’t happen.
NEIL: It absolutely did. For Christ sakes. It was six months of hearing about new friends Sam made on a walk and how he thought a black plastic bag was a cat. You don’t think I wanted to hear about what you were doing?! I wasn’t there. You could have said anything. Anything would have been news.

(PEN spins around and throws her arms up in the air.)

PEN: You can’t just do that. You can’t just put that on us. You never said anything. It’s not our fault you just let that build up inside you.NEIL: I’m not putting it on Sam.

(PEN starts past him in the doorway.)

NEIL (con’t.): Do you know how much I was looking forward to being back here with you?! Which was the plan the whole time.

(PEN stops.)

PEN: F#&k you. So have I. I wasn’t haven’t picnics here you know. I was running home every day between meetings and dinner appointments to get home to Sam. I missed my cousin’s wedding because he doesn’t get along well with others. Don’t put this on me.
NEIL: Fine. I can take care of Sam now. And you can do whatever you want. Without him to run home to.
PEN: I have liked coming home to him.
NEIL: I know you did.
PEN: It was the best part of my day. I just meant it wasn’t easy. I didn’t mean I wasn’t excited about being with you again.
NEIL: Except you’re on a couch. Cuddling with a dog.
PEN: I keep telling you I want it to work. I don’t not want it to work, Neil.

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