NICK (rubbing his hands together to warm...

NICK (rubbing his hands together to warm up) How long do you think idiots have been standing outside waiting for a freakin’ ball to drop? Jeez Louise, sugar, is it cold.

RON Dude, you’re not at school—you can swear. So, where’s Jackie?

NICK On her way. What do you wanna drink?

RON Ah, whatever. Budweiser, I guess.

NICK This round’s on me.

RON Johnnie Walker Blue Label.

Nick gives Ron a look and walks away. Ron takes out his phone and talks to it.

RON Siri, in what year--

The noise from the bar increases, and Ron leans into his phone. Nick returns with drinks; Ron is still engrossed in his phone. Nick holds out a bottle of water for Ron.

NICK Helllooo?

RON (referring to the drink) What the hell?

Nick points to a blue label on the water bottle.

NICK Blue Label.

RON Ass—it’s 1907, by the way.

Nick hands Ron a beer.

NICK What is?

RON You asked how long the ball’s been going down in Times Square.

NICK No I didn’t. I asked how long have people been standing outside today.

RON Oh. (into the phone) Siri, how long--

NICK Please don’t. Whose stupid idea was it to meet spitting distance from this madness?

RON I didn’t feel like venturing far away from home tonight.

NICK Oh, sorry. Right. I heard about you and Lili. That sucks. Sorry I didn’t call. You know, holidays. Busy.

RON I don’t want to talk about it.

NICK I understand.

RON It’s just the little things, you know? Like she’d ask me if I wanted coffee and I’d say “no” and then she’d ask again. Like didn’t I say no the first time?

NICK Oh, well—don’t feel like you have to share--

RON And she doesn’t like my dog. Says he barks too much. He’s a dog. That’s his job.

Nick nods his head.

RON I mean, what’s not to like about Rufus? And last weekend, she was at my place and I had to do laundry, and she was helping me fold.

Nick looks confused.

RON My socks. She rolls them together like this--(He demonstrates)— even though she knows I fold them like this. (He demonstrates.) How could I be with someone like that? She’s clearly sending a message that she wants to change me. Whatever. How did you find out anyway? Did Lili tell Dana and Dana tell Jackie and Jackie tell you?

NICK No. Lili changed her Facebook status.

RON Oh. Really?

NICK I’m sorry it’s so hard--

RON It’s—not—hard. You know what? I’m going to like that on Facebook right now.

A moment, as Ron is on the phone.

RON Huh. She’s in a relationship. Wow, that was fast.

NICK No kidding.

Ron looks back at Facebook and then at Nick.

RON Jackie posted on Lili’s comment: “Maybe you’ll end up walking down the aisle like I’ll be NEXT YEAR. I knew you could do better.”

Siriously was developed with The CRY HAVOC Company

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