DIAPHANTA Cuds, madam, are you here?...

DIAPHANTA Cuds, madam, are you here?

BEATRICE [Aside] Seeing that wench now,

A trick comes in my mind; 'tis a nice piece

Gold cannot purchase.--I come hither, wench,

To look my lord.

DIAPHANTA [Aside] Would I had such a cause

To look him too.--Why, he's i' th' park, madam.

BEATRICE There let him be.

DIAPHANTA Ay, madam, let him compass

Whole parks and forests, as great rangers do;

At roosting time a little lodge can hold 'em.

Earth-conquering Alexander, that thought the world

Too narrow for him, in the end had but his pit-hole.

BEATRICE I fear thou art not modest, Diaphanta.

DIAPHANTA Your thoughts are so unwilling to be known, madam;

'Tis ever the bride's fashion towards bedtime

To set light by her joys, as if she ow'd 'em not.

BEATRICE Her joys? Her fears, thou wouldst say.

DIAPHANTA Fear of what?

BEATRICE Art thou a maid, and talk'st so to a maid?

You leave a blushing business behind,

Beshrew your heart for't.

DIAPHANTA Do you mean good sooth, madam?

BEATRICE Well, if I'd thought upon the fear at first,

Man should have been unknown.

DIAPHANTA Is't possible?

BEATRICE I will give a thousand ducats to that woman

Would try what my fear were, and tell me true

Tomorrow when she gets from 't: as she likes

I might perhaps be drawn to 't.

DIAPHANTA Are you in earnest?

BEATRICE Do you get the woman, then challenge me,

And see if I'll fly from 't; but I must tell you

This by the way, she must be a true maid,

Else there's no trial, my fears are not hers else.

DIAPHANTA Nay, she that I would put into your hands, madam,

Shall be a maid.

BEATRICE You know I should be sham'd else,

Because she lies for me.

DIAPHANTA 'Tis a strange humour:

But are you serious still? Would you resign

Your first night's pleasure and give money too?

BEATRICE As willingly as live. [Aside] Alas, the gold

Is but a by-bet to wedge in the honour.

DIAPHANTA I do not know how the world goes abroad

For faith or honesty; there's both requir'd in this.

Madam, what say you to me, and stray no further?

I've a good mind, in troth, to earn your money.

BEATRICE Y'are too quick, I fear, to be a maid.

DIAPHANTA How? Not a maid? Nay, then, you urge me, madam,

Your honourable self is not a truer

With all your fears upon you--

BEATRICE [Aside] Bad enough then.

DIAPHANTA Then I with all my lightsome joys about me.

BEATRICE I'm glad to hear 't; then you dare put your honesty

Upon an easy trial.

DIAPHANTA Easy? Anything.

BEATRICE [Going to the closet] I'll come to you straight.

DIAPHANTA [Aside] She will not search me, will she,

Like the forewoman of a female jury?

BEATRICE Glass M. Ay, this is it. Look, Diaphanta,

You take no worse than I do.

[She drinks and hands Diaphanta the glass.]

DIAPHANTA And in so doing

I will not question what 'tis, but take it.

[She drinks.]

BEATRICE [Aside] Now if the experiment be true, 'twill praise itself,

And give me noble ease. [Diaphanta gapes.] Begins already,

There's the first symptom. [Diaphanta sneezes.] And what haste it makes

To fall into the second, there by this time:

Most admirable secret! On the contrary,

It stirs not me a whit, which most concerns it.

DIAPHANTA Ha, ha, ha!

BEATRICE [Aside] Just in all things and in order,

As if 'twere circumscrib'd, one accident

Gives way unto another.

DIAPHANTA Ha, ha, ha!

BEATRICE How now, wench?

DIAPHANTA Ha, ha, ha, I am so, so light

At heart, ha, ha, ha. so pleasurable!

But one swig more, sweet madam.

BEATRICE Ay, tomorrow;

We shall have time to sit by 't.

DIAPHANTA Now I'm sad again.

BEATRICE [Aside] It lays itself so gently too.--Come, wench,

Most honest Diaphanta I dare call thee now.

DIAPHANTA Pray tell me, madam, what trick call you this?

BEATRICE I'll tell thee all hereafter; we must study

The carriage of this business.

DIAPHANTA I shall carry 't well

Because I love the burthen.

BEATRICE About midnight

You must not fail to steal forth gently

That I may use the place.

DIAPHANTA Oh, fear not, madam;

I shall be cool by that time. The bride's place,

And with a thousand ducats! I'm for a justice now:

I bring a portion with me; I scorn small fools!

Thomas Middleton and William Rowley. The Changeling. http://www.tech.org/~cleary/change.html.

Full text of The Changeling: http://www.tech.org/~cleary/change.html

Wikipedia entry on The Changeling: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TheChangeling(play)