...

Jean: You’d be amazed how often I’ve heard those words. (She tries to lift Henry.) Actually, maybe using George’s walker isn’t a bad idea.

Paulette: We would probably end up smashing Henry’s head against the wall.

Jean: What’s the down-side?

Paulette: I want him awake and sober when I kill him. Come on, Jean. Give me a hand.

(They struggle to get Henry standing again… slowly proceed toward bedroom door and make it US of the table.)

Henry: Feliz Navidad… Feliz Navidad…

Paulette: Shut up, Henry. For crying out loud, Jean, I can’t believe you plied him with liquor to soften him up.

Jean: Plied him with liquor? Are you kidding me? He was sucking it back like there was no tomorrow. I’ve never seen anyone drink wine like that, other than that hobo I… well… never mind.

Henry: (Drunk singing to “La Bamba”.) Para bailar La Bamba… Para bailar La Bamba Se necessita una poca de gracia.

Paulette: Are you telling me the truth? He did this to himself on purpose? And when did he learn Spanish?

Jean: I swear, Paulette, on the Victoria’s Secret catalogue. I didn’t do this to him, it’s entirely self-inflicted. (Paulette drops Henry.)

Paulette: Then it’s true! It’s only me he isn’t interested in. He was rip-roaring to get his Don Juan on with you but I can’t get him to touch me inappropriately, even when it’s appropriate.

Jean: Look, Paulette, honey, there’s something you should know.

Paulette: I think I’ve heard and seen enough!